Saturday, February 11, 2012

adult child brides.

yesterday while travis and i were cooking dinner, the doorbell rang. we looked at each other in shock, because the entire year and a half we have lived in this house, our doorbell has probably only rang 10 times. most people who come over use the side door, and most of our neighbors, bless their hearts, are old enough to go to  bed by 7. and they never come over.

since travie's hands were full of spatula and chicken, i answered the door, nervously checking through the window before turning the handle. a young man, looking to be somewhere between eighteen and twenty five stood on the porch.
"hi, is that your car-" he started, looking behind me into the house.
"um?" i replied. "the car?"
"are your parents home?" he asked, still craning his neck to see behind me into the kitchen.
i stared at him.
"i am an adult. this is my house. that is my car." i stated. like a robot.
he apologized and then tried to sell me something, but i cut him off mid sentence and sent him on his way.

are my parents home. are my parents home!? good hell, i was wearing makeup! i know i look like a 14 year old without it, but i had some dark eye shadow going on.
maybe this is why i have a hard time feeling like an adult, who is old enough to be married, graduating from college, and selling her house.

earlier in the week, i was doing some grocery shopping at the sunflower market. i wanted to enter my name into a drawing for a hundred dollar gift card. the man at the booth looked at me with kind eyes, "honey, are you at least eighteen?"

then a few weeks ago at counseling, i had to give the ladies at the front desk permission for travis to get an email from my counselor. you know, HIPAA and all that.
"hi, i need to give you the slip so my husband can see the information my counselor wants to email him."
they looked at each other. one said, "so you really are old enough to have a husband?"
i looked from face to face. "how old do you think i am?"
a grey haired woman said, "well, if you told us you were fifteen, we would believe you."

whelp, i'm a child bride, actually.
but here's the kicker. i have started to find gray hairs on my head. i'm twenty three. gray. hairs. i have probably found five of them. what good are my baby face and smooth skin going to be if i have gone gray by thirty??

pretty funny right?

5 comments:

  1. hahahaha. yes, random things do still happen here. there's no way you look 15. it's like the "you're all the same person" comment-- not true in any way, but also not offensive.

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  2. There is not much that pisses me off more than being told any variation of those comments. It sets me off so quick, I have a hard time being polite to the offender afterwards. "You'll appreciate it when you're older." I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHEN I'M OLDER RIGHT NOW!!! I think I hear adult child bride comments at least 3x a week. RRRAAAWRRR.

    That's all.

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  3. we'll be the only girls that still look like we're 28!!! haha I just read "kell's" comment too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I guess it's different cuz I'm a guy, but I get so excited whenever I find a grey hair. My sister pulled one out at Christmas, thinking she was doing me a favor, and I got so mad!

    ReplyDelete

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