bad and also poor grammar

in honor of social media "ruining" our youth's writing skills, "those damn teenagers and their electronics!" this post will be written in mostly fragmented sentences that are cool to use when on facebook, twitter, instagram, and tumblr. and other such forms of media. maybe it will save you time not to have to read full sentences. i'm doin' this for you.

this is dedicated to the older woman in church last year who proclaimed that any person who uses headphones to listen to music, was only using headphones because their choice of music was vulgar and needed hiding via headphones.

also dedicated to the time my grandpa griped about my generation and our need to be plugged in, and then promptly picked up his new ipad and showed me how cool it was.

so these are my fragmented life updates. here goes.

• that time you watch so many episodes of desperate housewives, that you begin to reference the characters as if they are your best friends. (switching to full sentence mode here- for the record, the reason i am able to plow through so many episodes is because i watch/listen to them while i clean, blow dry my hair, wash my face before bedtime, and during mealtimes when travis is gone. so most mealtimes.)

• that time you come to bed only to find your husband has found his duck call and is blowing it as loud as possible, asking you, "does this sound real?" and while you think of a nice way to let him down easy, he informs you it is his mating call and you realize you have never been less turned on than this moment in time. 

• that time a vernon dursley look-a-like confronts you at walmart about the sound your feet make when they scuff on the floor. and you yell back at him and are so filled with rage you wonder if you need a more violent outlet than your kickboxing class. 

•  speaking of violent outlets, that time you are starving with hunger and your husband comes home and teases you about whether or not he will go to the grocery store with you. and you become filled with that same violent rage, grab his neck, begin screaming curse words (in my defense, he did make me run up and down the stairs looking for socks and teasing me) and forget that the door is open and the neighbors can hear you being verbally abusive. then your husband's maniacal laughter pushes you to the breaking point and you hurl his shoes at his face as hard as possible. and he continues to laugh until you realize how crazy you have become. 

• that time you realize that you have become obsessed with the topic of female orgasm and that you tell every person you meet everything you know about our culture and sex. like your unsuspecting brother in law. and you remember that many people are very uncomfortable talking about sex and hearing the words, "orgasm" and "clitoris." and you hear yourself talking to your bishop about your uterus and realize you have a problem. 

• that time you attend the most beautiful wedding reception ever that looked like this: 

 (if you care to see more, go {here})

• that time you applied for four more jobs and are beginning to think you'll be unemployed forever. and begin alternating between the ideas of getting kocked up and applying for grad school. and then just watch more desperate housewives to drown out the uncertainty of the future. 

• that time you realize it's almost been two years since you married your husband and you realize you are so much more crazy about him that you were back then.

  seriously, those eyes.

laughing fit.

• that time you get ID'ed ordering a virgin margarita. and then get hit on by junior high kids. and then find out your 8th grade brothers' friends thought you were his new, hot girlfriend when they saw you walking into his choir concert arm in arm with him. 

• that time your husband gets his hair cut at your salon for the first time and while you sit there, watching as an attractive blonde woman massages his scalp and his eyes roll back in pleasure, all you can think is, perfect, now he won't beg me for a massage later.

so that pretty much covers it. just spending my days being an unemployed advocate for female orgasm, throwing rage fits in front of neighbors, and being obsessed with travis. and apparently looking like a junior high student. so you know, livin' the high life.

xo

no, i didn't ask if we could watch a porno, i just wanted to talk about my research project: the time i upped the rating in my research methods class

hola.
just a few items of business, and then i would like to start today's topic, which involves my teacher, a grown man, being uncomfortable writing the word 'genitals' on the board in front of our class. 

first item of business.
if you're into pregnancy, ideas about souls, and sage advice, check out my dear friend's post. she's an AMAZING writer and the rest of her blog is pretty outstanding, too.

second item of business.
we went house shopping again today and made an offer an a brand spankin' new, deep red, two story cottage home. with a big porch. and a separate dining room. and a huge tub in the master bath. (i'm being super descriptive because i didn't take a picture of the outside.) yeah, pretty in love with this house. it's not a short sale, so there is more hope than the blue house, which we still have an offer on. the kitchen is my DREAM kitchen, white cabinets, laminate wood floors, granite counter tops, and there are all these cute nooks and crannies everywhere that lend a very cozy feel to the house. just waiting til monday to find out if they accepted our offer. all went well with our home's appraisal, so i assume the appraiser is still alive and well. phew! but anyway, this could be it folks.

okay, i believe that is it for business. now onto the story.
there are many things that bother me about our culture and the role women play. these are some of them i have been pondering this past week. this list includes, but is certainly not limited to:

• when a couple gets engaged, the woman is the only one who wears the ring during the engagement. why is she the only one who is publicly "off the market" when interacting with strangers. 
• linguistic issues like, when a man and woman are married, he is still a Mr but now she has changed from a Miss to a Mrs. we automatically know she is married when we hear her name, but his is still the same. he didn't have to change at all. (this also relates to my issue with our custom of the woman taking the man's surname. doesn't it all go back to the wife being property of her husband? *also, if you are married and changed your last name, i am not trying to say you let yourself become property, as this isn't exactly the case anymore; these are just things about our culture that bother me.*)
• this. (thanks alyssa.)
• the fact that on how i met your mother, the main male roles play a lawyer and an architect, and the main female roles play a kindergarten teacher and a news reporter. way to stick those female characters in "gender appropriate" jobs there, how i met your mother.

ok that's enough. travis probably gets pretty tired of my ongoing critique of the world.

but something that really, really bothered me was what went down in my most recent research methods class. 

on thursday night, i was sitting through my research methods class. we were talking about the different statistics used to analyze the data from our "studies" (the fake ones we are doing.) on tuesday, we talked about stats and i actually started to cry. in class. don't think anyone but the teacher noticed, but still, on thursday, i was determined not to get upset, but to have some faith in myself. and also to get all the help i could from the class and teacher.
so our teacher asks if any of us would be wiling to discuss our "study" with the class to practice figuring out which stats to use. i immediately raised my hand and professor patrick-dempsey-look-alike said mine could go second.
the first girl's "study" was about child sexual abuse in sex offenders, which, seemed to me, to be a pretty intense topic. the atmosphere in the room changed while we discussed her IVs and DVs. i'm sure a nice share of the people in the room have personal experience with sexual abuse. but her study was all in the name of science soft science, so we learned from it and moved on. nothing personal.
so then professor demps looks at me and says, "well guys, i think we had a good example. we don't need another one do we?"
"actually i really think we do." i said. the class agreed that they needed more examples. professor demps looked nervous. "ok we can do collette's, but... " he glanced around at the class. "it's going to take the rating level of the class up a notch, so if any of you feel uncomfortable, feel free to leave."

ok, so the topic of women and orgasm took the rating level up a notch, but sexual abuse was no big deal? i mean, good grief, it wasn't like i was going to talk about my personal experience with the subject. it wasn't like i wanted to broadcast a porno.

with the class staring me down, i explained my independent variables of genital labeling and then incomplete sexual education. prof demps, who likes to write on the board when teaching, hesitated at the word 'genital.' he skipped it entirely and wrote "labeling." he then repeated his earlier statement, "if anyone feels uncomfortable, you can leave."
i started getting a little heated. "they're just body parts." i said. "we all have genitals." the class laughed, albeit a little nervously.
the professor didn't understand what i mean about incomplete sex education. he wanted to make two groups: those who had sex ed and those who didn't.
"that kind of defeats my whole point." i told him. "sex ed doesn't teach girls about their bodies and what the organs actually do. for example, they teach about the ovaries and the fallopian tubes, but not about..." i paused, unsure of whether or not i could say "clitoris."

in a college class, talking about my thesis, with grown ups, i wasn't sure i was "allowed" to say the medical term for one of the female body parts.

the rest of the time, my teacher was awkwardly avoiding saying the word 'orgasm' and at one point even said, "i guess i'm demonstrating why a study like this needs to be done, huh?" he kept asking me, "is there really a body of research you can draw from to back your study?"
 yes, actually there are other people out there who think it is important for women to be educated about their bodies and about their own abilities.
 toward the end, i was feeling embarrassed and defensive. "look guys, it's 2012, it's okay for us to talk about this. women need to feel comfortable talking about this!"

during the break at 7:30, a few of the women in the class came up to me in the bathroom and told me they thought my "study" was awesome and that they fully supported that kind of thing. but when we were in class, with a male professor leading a discussion about female orgasm, a topic he felt "upped the rating of the class" no one said a word. 

a little unbelievable right? i figured that in a liberal arts major, with the majority of my teachers making unprofessional comments about "the mormons" and religion and having to sit through all of that, i would be safe enough asking for help on my assignment involving sexuality and women, which is sadly, considered a pretty liberal topic. sad that educating women about their amazing bodies is still taboo.

anyway, that's my rant.
keeping my soapbox with me at all times lately.
 

the role of vague genital labeling and incomplete sexual education in female orgasm

i love talking about sex, and not in a dirty, "this is how i do it kind of way". i like talking about it in a "this is how it fits into our culture, how can we improve things like females knowing how to have an orgasm and enjoying their sex lives even though our culture doesn't teach or encourage women to enjoy their bodies" ...way. as afore mentioned, this is what i'm doing my research on for my research methods class. this next installment is just the intro.

so if reading "scholarly" academic writing isn't your thing, i won't be offended. but i did pour quite a bit of my heart and soul into this one and tried not to let it get too dry. if nothing else, please read the article names  in the works cited page because they are amazing. also, posting the document onto my blog messed with the formatting and i know that the journal names are supposed to be italicized. deal with it; i'm too lazy to fix it on the blog.

 

The Role of Vague Genital Labeling and Incomplete Sexual Education in Female Orgasm 

            Girls and women today live in a culture that places a great deal of importance on their sexuality. Magazine covers portray flawless women with captions like, 25 Ways to Please Him in Bed or Get Your Sizzling Sex Life Back.  Information about sex seems to be everywhere, but what kind of education are girls and women really receiving? Research shows that it is important for females to be instructed in early bodily knowledge to support sexual health and also that mothers are more likely to use vague terms such as ‘privates’ when teaching their daughters about their genitals (Martin & Luke, 2010).  Research also shows that when mothers talk to their daughters about sex-related topics, they are more likely to discuss reproduction, romance, and morality issues, but not the topics pertaining to sexual pleasure (Martin, Veduzco, Torres, & Luke, 2011).  In a world filled with sexually promiscuous male-centered media and mothers’ vague explanations, are girls and women learning useful information for their own healthy and pleasurable sex lives?

Genital Labeling

Many young girls are raised without knowing what to call their genitals, or knowing the function of their genitals. Martin, Veduzco, Torres, and Luke (2011) found that mothers use vague, indefinite terms, like ‘privates’, when teaching their daughters about their bodies. These vague terms do not describe the functions of the actual body parts. When teaching their sons, mothers use more childlike terms to describe their

genitals. Both genders are active participants in misconstruing and mispronouncing their mother’s terms for their body parts, leading to a variety of labels (Martin, et. al., 2011).

Incomplete Sexual Education

            Multiple studies show that the quality and sort of sexual education a young girl receives affects her future sexual experiences and expectations. Brody and Weiss (2010) found that common sex education approaches may undermine vaginal orgasm benefits. In their study, conducted in the Czech Republic, women who were told in childhood and adolescence that the vagina was the organ important for orgasm were more likely to experience vaginal orgasm, suggesting that education about the female body influences her experience with sexual intercourse (Body & Weiss, 2010). Research also suggests that sex therapists and educators assisting in female achieved orgasm should shift their focus from foreplay to improving the quality and duration of penile-vaginal intercourse, and that vaginal orgasm can be achieved more often with this type of education (Weiss & Brody, 2009).

            Martin and Luke (2010) conducted a study concerning gender differences existing in what mothers teach their children about sexuality and reproduction. They found that although mothers reported talking to their daughters about reproduction, morality, and romantic relationships, they did not feel comfortable discussing the pleasure aspect of intercourse or the topic of sexual abuse (Martin & Luke, 2010).  Having a solid foundation of sexual knowledge may influence later sexual function.  Fungl-Meyer, Oberg, Lundberg, Lewin, and Fungl-Meyer, Axel, (2006) in studying age and sexual dysfunction, found that the group of women who had good orgasmic function had less to do with age and more to do with their sexual history and feelings about being sexual.  Another important factor is for men to be educated. A study conducted by Gonzalez, Cali, Viafara, Molina, and Ortiz (2006) found that including men in the education about women’s feelings toward sexuality could help improve female sexual satisfaction.

Importance of Female Orgasm

            Sexuality has many aspects, with orgasm being just one of them, but research suggests orgasms increase life, partner, and sexual satisfaction, and greater mental health benefits (Brody & Weiss, 2011).  Though research finds female orgasm to be highly beneficial, this is not a widely supported concept. “…sexual pleasure and empowerment have often been understood to be male prerogatives, while social norms have discouraged female agency or autonomy, especially with regard to women's sexuality” (Pick, Givadudan, & Kline, 2005). Pick, Givadudan, and Kline (2005) assert that with progressive sexuality education and open communication, there will be enormous potential for women to responsibly pursue sexual pleasure, and thereby benefit their mental health and physical well being. 

            With the support of past research conducted concerning education, sexuality, orgasm, and women, the intent of the present study is to find a correlation between vague genital labeling and incomplete sexual education in regards to low rates of female orgasm. Variables of interest include what kind of bodily/sexual education daughters received from mothers and the school district’s sex education program and participants’ experiences with orgasm and overall sexual experience, and attitudes regarding sexuality, openness, and ability to achieve orgasm. The present study’s hypothesis is that there is a correlation between vague genital labeling and incomplete sexual education with regards to low rates of female orgasm. The research design will include an anonymous questionnaire and participants will be sexually active, heterosexual women aged 18 to 75.

Works Cited

Brody & Weiss. (2011). Simultaneous penile–vaginal intercourse orgasm is associated with satisfaction (sexual, life, partnership, and mental health). Journal of Sexual Medicine, Vol 8. Retrieved February 15, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2011-04033-0140).

Brody & Weiss. (2009). Women's partnered orgasm consistency is associated with greater duration of penile-vaginal intercourse but not of foreplay. Journal of Sexual Medicine, Vol 6. Retrieved February 15, 2012, from Academic Search Premier (2009-00085-019).

Brody & Weiss. (2010). Vaginal orgasm is associated with vaginal (not clitoral) sex education, focusing mental attention on vaginal sensations, intercourse duration, and a preference for a longer penis. Journal of Sexual Medicine, Vol 7. Retrieved January 26, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2010-16175-020).

Fugl-Meyer, K., Oberg, Lundberg, Lewin, & Fugl-Meyer, A. (2006). On Orgasm, Sexual Techniques, and Erotic Perceptions in 18- to 74- Year-Old Swedish Women. Journal of Sexual Medicine, Vol 3. Retrieved February 15, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2006-00557-006).

Gozalez, Viafara, Caba, Molina, Cemera, & Ortiz. (2006). Libido and orgasm in middle-aged woman. Maturitas. Retrieved February 15, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2006-01070-001).

Martin, K., & Luke, Katherine. (2010). Gender differences in the ABC’s of the birds and the bees: What mothers teach young children about sexuality and reproduction. Sex Roles. Retrieved January 26, 2012, from Academic Search Premier (A48746743).

Martin, K., Veduzco, B.L., Torres, J., & Luke, K. (2011). Privates, pee-pees, and      coochies: Gender and genital labeling for/with young children. Feminism & Psychology. Retrieved January 26, 2012, from Academic Search Premier (A64079949).

Pick, Givaudan, & Kline. (2005). VIII Sexual Pleasure as a Key Component of Integral Sexual Health. Feminism & Psychology. Retrieved February 15, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2005-00948-008).

sex talk.

ok. so if you're my facebook friend, you may have noticed this picture i posted last week:

so i was writing my research proposal with the aid of these books. i basically have to pretend to do research and go through all the writing that comes with it for one of my classes. i figured it i have to write a huge paper about fake research, i might as well do it on something i am passionate about: sex, wormen, orgasm, and bodies. you know, in the context of our culture. (if i did want to go to grad school and do research, this is what i would research.) so i want to do a couple posts about this and to get it all kicked off, i'm thinking you could read my research proposal. keep in mind that it's not perfect and that i haven't ever run research or used stats to analyze real data. so if it's all flawed, deal with it.
get ready for some sex talk. next week i'm gonna talk about two different books i read before getting married, one from the '60s and the other is the book in the picture, i heart female orgasm.
come on, who doesn't love talking about sex?!
no, i'm not going to talk about my own sex life. unless you have a question about something and then feel free, as always, to email me. i'm not embarrassed to talk about sex things. if you want to have orgasms and you just don't, i would love to talk to you about it.
creepy? nah, just direct and open.
enjoy!

Research Proposal for Psych 3010

Collette Charles (collette.charles7@gmail.com)

28 January 2012

Working Title of Proposed Research

Female Genital Labeling Correlates with Low Female Sexual Satisfaction and Orgasm.

How the idea developed & Objectives

            As a young girl, I was never taught what to call my female reproductive organs. I was aware of being different from my brothers, and even knew the word, ‘penis.’ I knew I had ‘privates,’ and thought of them as almost a lack of having a penis. Growing up, I participated in my public school’s Sex Education, where I learned about fallopian tubes, the ovaries, and of course, the vagina. But it wasn’t until I was preparing for marriage, and sexual intercourse, that I discovered the word, ‘clitoris’ and what it was. In my twenty two years of experience I had been unaware of a female sex organ, which I possessed, whose sole function is to provide sexual pleasure. It would be preposterous to think of a man who was unaware of his own sexual organs.  I began to wonder if other women were also unaware, and how gender sex scripts would be different if parents taught their daughters the clinical terms for their reproductive organs and if Sex Education Programs included the clitoris in their presentations. If women were educated about their sex organs and clitoris, would more women enjoy their sex lives, feel more dominant during intercourse, and experience orgasms? To investigate, I began reading the current research on this topic.

Hypothesis and Predictions

            Several scholarly articles, cited below, were of aid in supporting my hypothesis. Research shows that it is important for females to be instructed in early bodily knowledge to support sexual health and also that mothers are more likely to use vague terms such as ‘privates’ when teaching their daughters about their genitals (Martin et al.). There is also research showing that when mothers talk to their daughters about sex-related topics, they are more likely to discuss reproduction, romance, and morality issues, but not the topics pertaining to sexual pleasure (Martin et al.).  In a study conducted in the Czech Republic, women who were told in childhood and adolescence that the vagina was the organ important for orgasm were more likely to experience vaginal orgasm, suggesting that education about the female body influences her experience with sexual intercourse (Brody et al.). With the support of past research, my hypothesis predicts that vague genital labeling and incomplete education about female sex organs correlates with low female orgasm rates and women who are ill-prepared for a healthy, pleasurable sex life.

Proposed Method

My design will require a sample of participants who are female, heterosexual, sexually active, and age 18+. They will be invited to take a survey consisting of questions ranging from early sexual education, genital labeling, parental attitudes concerning sexual intimacy, orgasm frequency, and overall satisfaction with sexual experiences. The participants will be unaware of the hypothesis while taking the survey. The goal of the survey is to find a correlation between genital labeling and incomplete sex education and low satisfaction with sexual experience and orgasm.

Ethical Considerations

Due to the sensitive nature of my hypothesis, I will be keeping the participant names anonymous, something I think will encourage honesty in the participants. The participants will be told their survey is anonymous before taking it and will be debriefed afterwards, making sure they leave with complete knowledge of what we were looking for.    

Proposed Data Analysis

I plan to find a correlation between genital labeling and incomplete sexual education and low sexual satisfaction and orgasms. With the correlation, I will use the coefficient, r, to represent the measure of degree between genital labeling and low sexual satisfaction. I will use a scatter plot to demonstrate linear correlation between the two variables.

Preliminary List of References

Brody. (2011) Vaginal orgasm is associated with vaginal (not clitoral) sex education,  focusing mental attention on vaginal sensations, intercourse duration, and a preference for a longer penis. Retrieved January 26, 2012 from Academic Search Premier.

Martin, K., Veduzco, B.L., Torres, J., & Luke, K. (2011). Privates, pee-pees, and coochies: Gender and genital labeling for/with young children. Feminism & Psychology. Retrieved January 26, 2012, from Academic Search Premier (A64079949).

Martin, K., & Luke, Katherine. (2010). Gender differences in the ABC’s of the birds and the bees: What mothers teach young children about sexuality and reproduction. Sex Roles. Retrieved January 26, 2012, from Academic Search Premier (A48746743).

capital O

in my research methods class:

professor: "ok class, tell us what sort of research in the field of psychology interests you most."
older man with silver hair: "i want to know about PTSD in war veterans."
short hair girl: "i am interested in why some people kill each other."
bearded flannel wearing hipster who already informed us about his experience being a research assistant: "well we are researching the effects of human error on #insert huge words and boring descriptions#."
me: "well i'm interested in gender and also in sexuality, specifically women and orgasm."
entire class: ..... turning around and staring .....
professor: "yeah, um, well you can never really have enough research on improving upon that, can you?"

damn straight.