life's not a song

i have a dear friend who is on her last round of chemo. she's been preparing to die for the past year. she traveled the world, spent time with family, and lived to the fullest. she also suffered through round after round of chemo, losing major amounts of weight and hair (and eyelashes which we talked about the other day, never thought about losing those) and she is just an amazing person. this poem was inspired by a surprise party her friend lisa threw for her. it was a "celebrate karina's life" party. no crying allowed. only dancing. anyway, her face when she walked in and saw all of us there to love her and show support was something ill never forget.

take every memory, every single dream
suck the ideas from the whole wide world
lay them out on your coffee table.
can you piece together that puzzle without
the big picture?

there's a room, full of balloons and lemons yellow
a sea of faces to yell "surprise!"
everything you ever loved, gathered
to see you die.
who would be in your room?

go to the park and watch that couple
a thousand years old and counting
not a word passing, just a familiar smile
if love was something you could buy,
how much would you pay?

don't push your luck, don't buy more time.
life's not a song- no reason or rhyme.

we enter and exit through the same doors
skin teeth bone blood
ultimately all wanting the same thing.
the trick is not to lose after you find.
how long can you hold off?

A night in Hauula

Three men sat beneath a bright moon,

their tongue a foreign sound

to my young ears.

Two guitars and an ukulele spoke

a language I could identify.

And we four sat beneath

a bright moon

and communed without

words, for music goes far beyond

any human noise.

a security blanket obsolete

the nights are not so cold now,
winter's reign is almost through.
with shock and surprise, i find
i have no need for you.

there was a time, i will admit
i craved your slightest glance.
in every word and deed and thought
i watched you for my chance.

the night is not so long now
springtime rains have soaked me through
with no regret and less remorse
this is goodbye to you.

so william blake,

The Human Abstract

Pity would be no more,
If we did not make somebody Poor:
And Mercy no more could be,
If all were as happy as we;

And mutual fear brings peace;
Till the selfish loves increase.
Then Cruelty knits a snare,
And spreads his baits with care.

He sits down with holy fears,
And waters the ground with tears:
Then Humility takes its root
Underneath his foot.

Soon spreads the dismal shade
Of Mystery over his head;
And the Catterpiller and Fly,
Feed on the Mystery.

And it bears the fruit of Deceit,
Ruddy and sweet to eat;
And the Raven his nest has made
In its thickest shade.

The Gods of the earth and sea,
Sought thro' Nature to find this Tree
But their search was all in vain:
There grows one in the Human Brain

---

one year

an english teacher from last year

curly wild-on-purpose hair

his tshirt that said "it's in the syllabus" 

there is such a thing as too much academia.

trudging through three feet of snow

having two sets of car keys with buttons to unlock my door. 

and scraping off an ice circle to see 

though the windshield.

having my own room, my own sink. 

all that space with so much room to think. 

racing to the mailbox every thursday

literally cursing the mailman when it was empty. 

a big white apartment building crammed 

parking spaces and morgan sjoblom two doors down.

pale white skin to blind my eyes if 

the sun ever came out again.