the time i poisoned our appraiser

today was a long awaited day for travis and me. today was the day our house was appraised. supposedly tomorrow we close...? but their realtor, who is seriously insane, is convinced we don't close til the end of march.

anyway. it's never for sure in this house selling business, but back to the story.

our realtor texted me yesterday asking if wednesday at 1:30 worked for the appraisal. i was thrilled, because travis would actually be home for something having to do with selling the house. as fate would have it, he's always at work when there are showings, house inspections, or realtor walk-throughs, and thus, all duty and responsibility rests upon my small, too-young-for-this, shoulders.

so today, i let travis answer the door when the appraiser came over. i felt free to lay on the couch and study for the test i have in roughly an hour, and let the hot rice bag sit on my uterus and do its magic work on my terrible cramps. thanks so much copper iud. i hear the guy come in, not take off his shoes, tsk, and talk to travis in a deep manly voice. turns out he just finished paramedic school and recognized travis from when travis taught in his class. (one of travis's various occupations is teaching paramedic school at the university of utah, i know, badass.) distracted from my notecards displaying things like, panic disorder, major depressive disorder, suicide, (super fun, yeah?) i listen as travis asks the appraiser if he thinks our home will appraise high enough for the underwriter to give his stamp of approval. since i have done almost all of the face-to-face work of selling our home, i feel a little responsible for making sure everything goes smoothly.
"what all have you guys done remodel wise?" i hear the appraiser ask.
travis starts listing things. "well, new roof, windows, tile,"
i'm going crazy worrying if he's going to get it all, so i start yelling things out.
travis- "oh don't mind my wife, she's just in there studying."
oh yeah, i guess that 's weird for a voice to just start yelling out things like, "garbage disposal, insulation in the attic!" right?
the appraiser yells hello, and i tell him we have cookies in case he takes bribes. he politely laughs and says he does. then he goes about his business, looking in all the rooms. the appraiser has a magnificent soul patch, and when he's not looking, travis and i waggle our fingers under our lips to silently mock the appraiser's facial growth. yep, grownups.
oh also, i hadn't showered, and i kinda forgot to put on a bra. until the appraiser got there and then i felt super awkward. red shirt, red sweats, mismatched socks, and unbrushed hair. lookin' pretty fine, i must say.
so at the end, he and travis were talking in the kitchen, and i decided it was time to offer a cookie. i did not bake these cookies, as i never bake because i am always at school, but some sweet ladies in my neighborhood had dropped them off. i had taken a bite of one earlier, and then put it back onto the plate, because i'm gross like that, and i remembered this as i was pulling out the plate. i strategically opened the saran wrapped side across from my bite-taken-cookie, hoping he would never see it.
of course he reaches in, past the huge cookie i wanted him to grab, and his hand lands right on my cookie.
of course, i don't say anything, not about the bite, or the terrible cold i have, no i just watch in slow motion fashion as the man who has a huge say in whether or not our house sells smoothly, picks the cookie that could potentially end his life. 

ha, ha, just a joke. but it could give him a nasty cold. plus what's going to happen when he looks down and sees teeth marks in a crescent moon shape disrupting the circular flow of that beautiful chocolate peanut butter goodness??? 
i never saw him put it in his mouth. he kind of awkwardly carried it in the palm of his hand and i awkwardly followed him around, waiting to see what would happen. because by then, it was too late. travis kept looking at me, obviously not understanding the "I JUST MESSED UP" eyes i was shooting him.
until i told him in a whisper after the appraiser left.
because what if the appraiser had supersonic whale ears (?) and was standing on our porch, listening!?!

can you tell i have been studying abnormal psychology all week? yeah reading all those symptoms of "crazy people" and here i am in my red sweats, wild guilty eyes, poisoning our appraiser....

shake it out: f & the m

ok, third post today.

just wanted to share a song that has really helped me out the past few months. it was one i'd heard a while ago, but then after starting counseling, it took on a new meaning for me.  i really listened to the lyrics and they brought me to tears, and still do almost every time i hear it. one of the reasons music is so powerful is that it empathizes with us when sometimes nothing else can, and this song just hit home for me. hope it does something for you, too. 

 

strong

two posts in the span of five hours? yes, i must have a test to study for.

but.
i just got back from counseling and i am bursting with good feelings and hope.
and since that last post was a little downer, and although i think it's important to say the good and the bad, i wanted to say a few things that are positive.

i believe in God.
 not a "cold, all powerful, lighting bolt throwing, judgement pronouncing, black and white God", but in an actual being who knows me personally and cares for my every day well being.
i know in this day and age, proclaiming to believe in God can produce all kinds of feelings and negative connotations, because of so many who parade their agendas in the name of deity and actually do a great amount of harm.
i believe in a God who loves every person on this earth, regardless of what they believe, look like, or how they act. i also believe that only God knows us well enough to cast judgement on us and that when evaluating our actions, he includes mercy, empathy, and kindness toward us. this can be really hard to remember, that God is in charge of judging us, and that we are not capable of knowing what is in a person's heart. but i try to leave it to Him.

ok, so I believe in God, so what?
I am feeling really thankful to God right now.
Last week i was having a rough day. it had been two weeks since i had gone to counseling, and i knew i should probably schedule a session, but i was feeling that it was pointless. that it wouldn't change anything, and that i should just go back to avoiding, not fighting, and not trying to heal. i was feeling a lot of things and having thoughts i hadn't had in a long time. travis told me i needed to call and schedule a session, but i was avoiding it.
while i was at the library studying, my phone rang. and it was jessica, my counselor. she wanted to make sure she hadn't forgotten to book an appointment for me so she wouldn't stand me up if i came in the next day, because fridays are usually our appointment days. it worked out that she had a spot open up today.

a person could look at that small experience and chalk it up to coincidence. i mean, it wasn't like God himself called me. but i truly believe jessica was meant to be my counselor, because she is so easy to talk to and relates so well to me, and i truly believe she was meant to call me on that day, of all days, when i was so down and out.

today in counseling, i confronted things that i haven't said out loud because of how terrifying they are. but i confronted them and even though i still remember, and they are still part of me, i am stronger for facing them. i don't feel weak and incapable right now. i know that i am not alone and that God places us in each other's lives for reasons we don't always understand at first, but that help us to feel joy. i am so incredibly thankful for my life, that i am able to live here and learn things, even though at times it's painful, it's messy, and it's awful. because those things make us strong.

i am thankful for a loving God who knows me and my struggles, and who cares about them, even trivial things like getting docked five points on my orgasm paper. i am thankful for my travis. it's so scary to love someone and trust him to love all of you, but it has been so worth it. i'm thankful for family and dear friends. i'm thankful for you and for your comments of hope and believing. i talk about you in counseling and how you have really helped me to not feel so alone, so thank you.
we all really are stronger than we know. 
if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to get in touch with me.
love. xo

PTSD and loud farts

last week was a little rough. school is kicking my butt, and overall last week i just felt insecure and anxious. my teacher docked five points from my orgasm paper, and i actually cried about it. those thoughts of you're a failure just wouldn't leave me be.

on the PTSD front, i'm also frustrated. i feel like i'm making progress with everything, but i just wonder sometimes what i expect and if it's realistic. i'm starting to realize that no amount of counseling with make everything from the past just disappear. when i first started counseling, it seemed like i was moving so fast, coming to terms with things, and there was a light at the end of the tunnel. the past month, i feel like i've moved backwards. i'm still having panic attacks, i still have a hard time feeling like the people i love, love me back, and i have felt pretty alone. rationally, i know that healing doesn't happen all at once, and that this is normal, but i just want this to all be gone, like it never happened. which i know is impossible. i've talked a lot with my counselor about turning what happened to me into a positive thing, like being able to look at the strengths i have gained or at how i could help others who are dealing with sexual abuse. but last week i just felt beat up and like i'm going to be stuck in this place forever wondering why it had to happen and how i'm ever going to be ok.
but i guess just the fact that i was able to write all of that and understand that it's what i'm feeling, is a step in the right direction. right?

on a happier note, i do have a funny story. yesterday in sunday school, travis was teaching the lesson. he was doing a great job. then the autistic kid in our class decided to lay on the floor. which is completely fine. we love this kid and enjoy having him in our class. he's a huge teddy bear. so he's laying on the floor, on his belly, and we all smile just keep going with the lesson. a few minutes later, the sweet kid lets out this ten second long, extremely loud, ... fart. like one of the loudest ones i have ever heard in my life. all of us look around at each other, including the kid's older brother, and we just start laughing. not in a mean, making fun of way, but in a i can't believe how hilarious that was, ...way. the kid's older brother is really sweet with him, always helping him calm down. he's the kid in class who doesn't have his parents around and is being raised by grandparents. he is that kid who isn't wearing the coolest clothes, the kid who has probably seen things the others haven't. the other kids don't really get him and his sarcasm, and how he tries to act cool, like he's too cool for church. the other kids don't really include him, but i watch the way he treats his sweet autistic brother and my heart melts. i always try to talk to him and make sure he knows we love him. someday he'll grow up and hopefully realize that he didn't need to be the popular kid to be a wonderful person. you know?

also, i took my first official maternity pictures. seriously, this is all i want to do all the time. this family was so fun to work with and are just beautiful people.

life is hard. but life is also good and i'm so grateful for a loving support system, faith in Jesus Christ, and for our autistic kid's loud fart to help me remember not to be so uptight, and also that it's okay to laugh at ourselves and still love ourselves. you know?

xo

one word.

this.


(click on the word this.)

believe

you know those days when you don't believe in yourself? and you feel like you could never succeed? yeah i had one of those yesterday. sitting in my research methods class, a voice seemed to say to me, you're going to fail all your classes. you aren't going to graduate this may because you're going to fail your test next week. and if you even do graduate, you won't be able to find a job because no one would want to hire you. and don't even think about starting your own photography business, because you're a fake, and you don't know anything, and no one would ever trust you to take their pictures. then i started to think about how if all of that happens, i'll just be sitting home all day and then everyone will tell me to have a baby, which then led to my panicked thoughts of motherhood and how i'm not ready and probably never will be and if i did have a baby, i would ruin him/her because i'm not fit to be a mother.

all of these thoughts in the span of three minutes.
when i talked to travis later, i tentatively tried them out on him, telling him i felt stressed out and like i'm a failure. because jessica, my counselor, has been helping me understand how important it is to communicate with travis when i feel down, instead of just keeping it all inside like usual. travis, of course, was very understanding about everything. he reassured me that i'm not a failure, and that i have never failed at anything i really tried to do.
then he told me that i don't even have to work.
"well what am i supposed to do all day long?" i asked.
"there are quite a few seasons of desperate housewives you could re-watch." he replied.

although that sounds really enticing, i woke up this morning and decided to act. i'm afraid to say this out loud, because someone may laugh and i just care way too much about what everyone thinks of me.
i want to be a photographer.
not like a national geographics photographer who becomes famous, or someone who shoots for the new york times, or anything like that, but someone who takes pictures of families, weddings, and babies.
i have had several people caution me that it's harder than i think, which everything usually is, and that i shouldn't do it just because everyone else is doing it. well, it turns out when i have a camera in my hands, i'm pretty happy. it's like that feeling i get when i play music, like i can't get enough of it. i dream about my camera, i take it everywhere with me, it sleeps next to my bed.
this is getting a little creepy... 
and i'm not looking for compliments here, although no one ever wishes not to have compliments, but what i'm trying to say is that i'm going to try for this dream. a lot of times in the past when i really wanted something, but was afraid of failure or that people would criticize me, or that i wouldn't be the best, i would just quit. not even try. but i want this to be different. i want to believe in myself. why is it so easy for us to believe we can't succeed?

so while i should have been in my weight lifting class, i created this blog. it's not perfect, and there is hardly anything on it, but it's a start. 

so if you know of anyone who wants their picture taken for cheap (or you readers want pictures for free because i love people who follow my blog) please direct them to my photography blog.

this saturday i am meeting with a girl who wants me to do her wedding.
i'm terrified!
but excited.
so anyway, believe in your dreams, even though it's scary.
i was talking to some friends last week and one of them is an aspiring musician. he is really, really talented. but when people ask him what he's doing with his life, he's embarrassed to say, "i'm in a band and i play music." he is afraid they will judge him and think, who are you to be successful at what you love. i told him he should own it, and not be afraid, to have some confidence. later, a wise friend told me that i should follow my own advice.  it's always easier to believe in other people, rather than yourself.

but this is a start. thanks for all your love. xo

st geezy, my steezy.

for president's day weekend, we were lucky enough to get away with our dear friends and head down south for some adventuring. my grandparents spend their winters there, in a retirement community 55+ trailer park. there were so many laughs, so many hilarious things that always seem to happen when alyssa and i get together, and i was just heaven to feel sunshine and be with three of my favorite people for 4 days in a row.
also i finally got some good outdoor camera time. travis was pretty awesome about it. we would be driving along and i would see something i like and say, "travis! can we pull over for pictures!?!" and he would pull over, whip out his game of scrabble, and let us go do our thing.

this is basically what it looked like all weekend. face = camera.

photo by alyssa herzinger

in some farmer's field on the way down to st george. beautiful people.

weeping rock, zion nat park

hiking angel's landing, zion nat park. 

it's good for your soul to have such pretty scenery around you.

near snow canyon, in a slot canyon benny found.

we took our shoes off, basked in the sun, and alyssa even put on a little show.

we found an art show in cayenta, and somehow ended up playing in a little bluegrass band. the man kept saying, "you can stay for one more song!" and off we'd go.

thanks to our wonderful hosts!!! my grandpa stubbornly refused to remove his glasses for the picture, so this was the best we got.

we had a fantastic time, ate way too much good food, played cards, listened to ingrid michaelson's new album, human again, which you should buy, and enjoyed each other's witty company. alyssa and i go back to being almost roommates in hawaii, and it was just wonderful to spend so much time together again. benny and i met in a linguistics class at the U, and enjoyed our first trip together. and you guys know all about travis and i. he is a great driver, has a built in navigation system in his brain, and has more patience than anyone i know. he probably felt like the third wheel with alyssa and i all weekend, but was a great sport about it.

great weekend that pumped me up for real life again.

the role of vague genital labeling and incomplete sexual education in female orgasm

i love talking about sex, and not in a dirty, "this is how i do it kind of way". i like talking about it in a "this is how it fits into our culture, how can we improve things like females knowing how to have an orgasm and enjoying their sex lives even though our culture doesn't teach or encourage women to enjoy their bodies" ...way. as afore mentioned, this is what i'm doing my research on for my research methods class. this next installment is just the intro.

so if reading "scholarly" academic writing isn't your thing, i won't be offended. but i did pour quite a bit of my heart and soul into this one and tried not to let it get too dry. if nothing else, please read the article names  in the works cited page because they are amazing. also, posting the document onto my blog messed with the formatting and i know that the journal names are supposed to be italicized. deal with it; i'm too lazy to fix it on the blog.

 

The Role of Vague Genital Labeling and Incomplete Sexual Education in Female Orgasm 

            Girls and women today live in a culture that places a great deal of importance on their sexuality. Magazine covers portray flawless women with captions like, 25 Ways to Please Him in Bed or Get Your Sizzling Sex Life Back.  Information about sex seems to be everywhere, but what kind of education are girls and women really receiving? Research shows that it is important for females to be instructed in early bodily knowledge to support sexual health and also that mothers are more likely to use vague terms such as ‘privates’ when teaching their daughters about their genitals (Martin & Luke, 2010).  Research also shows that when mothers talk to their daughters about sex-related topics, they are more likely to discuss reproduction, romance, and morality issues, but not the topics pertaining to sexual pleasure (Martin, Veduzco, Torres, & Luke, 2011).  In a world filled with sexually promiscuous male-centered media and mothers’ vague explanations, are girls and women learning useful information for their own healthy and pleasurable sex lives?

Genital Labeling

Many young girls are raised without knowing what to call their genitals, or knowing the function of their genitals. Martin, Veduzco, Torres, and Luke (2011) found that mothers use vague, indefinite terms, like ‘privates’, when teaching their daughters about their bodies. These vague terms do not describe the functions of the actual body parts. When teaching their sons, mothers use more childlike terms to describe their

genitals. Both genders are active participants in misconstruing and mispronouncing their mother’s terms for their body parts, leading to a variety of labels (Martin, et. al., 2011).

Incomplete Sexual Education

            Multiple studies show that the quality and sort of sexual education a young girl receives affects her future sexual experiences and expectations. Brody and Weiss (2010) found that common sex education approaches may undermine vaginal orgasm benefits. In their study, conducted in the Czech Republic, women who were told in childhood and adolescence that the vagina was the organ important for orgasm were more likely to experience vaginal orgasm, suggesting that education about the female body influences her experience with sexual intercourse (Body & Weiss, 2010). Research also suggests that sex therapists and educators assisting in female achieved orgasm should shift their focus from foreplay to improving the quality and duration of penile-vaginal intercourse, and that vaginal orgasm can be achieved more often with this type of education (Weiss & Brody, 2009).

            Martin and Luke (2010) conducted a study concerning gender differences existing in what mothers teach their children about sexuality and reproduction. They found that although mothers reported talking to their daughters about reproduction, morality, and romantic relationships, they did not feel comfortable discussing the pleasure aspect of intercourse or the topic of sexual abuse (Martin & Luke, 2010).  Having a solid foundation of sexual knowledge may influence later sexual function.  Fungl-Meyer, Oberg, Lundberg, Lewin, and Fungl-Meyer, Axel, (2006) in studying age and sexual dysfunction, found that the group of women who had good orgasmic function had less to do with age and more to do with their sexual history and feelings about being sexual.  Another important factor is for men to be educated. A study conducted by Gonzalez, Cali, Viafara, Molina, and Ortiz (2006) found that including men in the education about women’s feelings toward sexuality could help improve female sexual satisfaction.

Importance of Female Orgasm

            Sexuality has many aspects, with orgasm being just one of them, but research suggests orgasms increase life, partner, and sexual satisfaction, and greater mental health benefits (Brody & Weiss, 2011).  Though research finds female orgasm to be highly beneficial, this is not a widely supported concept. “…sexual pleasure and empowerment have often been understood to be male prerogatives, while social norms have discouraged female agency or autonomy, especially with regard to women's sexuality” (Pick, Givadudan, & Kline, 2005). Pick, Givadudan, and Kline (2005) assert that with progressive sexuality education and open communication, there will be enormous potential for women to responsibly pursue sexual pleasure, and thereby benefit their mental health and physical well being. 

            With the support of past research conducted concerning education, sexuality, orgasm, and women, the intent of the present study is to find a correlation between vague genital labeling and incomplete sexual education in regards to low rates of female orgasm. Variables of interest include what kind of bodily/sexual education daughters received from mothers and the school district’s sex education program and participants’ experiences with orgasm and overall sexual experience, and attitudes regarding sexuality, openness, and ability to achieve orgasm. The present study’s hypothesis is that there is a correlation between vague genital labeling and incomplete sexual education with regards to low rates of female orgasm. The research design will include an anonymous questionnaire and participants will be sexually active, heterosexual women aged 18 to 75.

Works Cited

Brody & Weiss. (2011). Simultaneous penile–vaginal intercourse orgasm is associated with satisfaction (sexual, life, partnership, and mental health). Journal of Sexual Medicine, Vol 8. Retrieved February 15, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2011-04033-0140).

Brody & Weiss. (2009). Women's partnered orgasm consistency is associated with greater duration of penile-vaginal intercourse but not of foreplay. Journal of Sexual Medicine, Vol 6. Retrieved February 15, 2012, from Academic Search Premier (2009-00085-019).

Brody & Weiss. (2010). Vaginal orgasm is associated with vaginal (not clitoral) sex education, focusing mental attention on vaginal sensations, intercourse duration, and a preference for a longer penis. Journal of Sexual Medicine, Vol 7. Retrieved January 26, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2010-16175-020).

Fugl-Meyer, K., Oberg, Lundberg, Lewin, & Fugl-Meyer, A. (2006). On Orgasm, Sexual Techniques, and Erotic Perceptions in 18- to 74- Year-Old Swedish Women. Journal of Sexual Medicine, Vol 3. Retrieved February 15, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2006-00557-006).

Gozalez, Viafara, Caba, Molina, Cemera, & Ortiz. (2006). Libido and orgasm in middle-aged woman. Maturitas. Retrieved February 15, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2006-01070-001).

Martin, K., & Luke, Katherine. (2010). Gender differences in the ABC’s of the birds and the bees: What mothers teach young children about sexuality and reproduction. Sex Roles. Retrieved January 26, 2012, from Academic Search Premier (A48746743).

Martin, K., Veduzco, B.L., Torres, J., & Luke, K. (2011). Privates, pee-pees, and      coochies: Gender and genital labeling for/with young children. Feminism & Psychology. Retrieved January 26, 2012, from Academic Search Premier (A64079949).

Pick, Givaudan, & Kline. (2005). VIII Sexual Pleasure as a Key Component of Integral Sexual Health. Feminism & Psychology. Retrieved February 15, 2012 from Academic Search Premier (2005-00948-008).

valentine's.

today was probably the best valentine's day i have ever had.
i woke up early and it felt like christmas, because i had a surprise for travis sitting out on the table, just waiting for him to wake up and be surprised.

yeah, travis was nominated for the husband of the year award by the american committee of husbandry. sorry ladies, maybe yours will take next year! just a basket full of treats, a cd, a candy mustache (because travis keeps sneakily trying to grow out his 'stache and i'm trying my damndest to discourage it.)  and something red and lacy.

it's a handkerchief, guys. jeeze, pervs.
jk.

so after i dragged him out of bed woke him up nicely to see his present, we headed out to breakfast.
please, please if you live in murray and want to go out to breakfast, don't go to IHOP. instead, head over to the tea rose diner for either american or thai breakfast. or lunch or dinner for that matter. could go on and on about the curries. best thai food (in utah) i have ever had.

yeah, it's a dive. the owner is from thailand and she is quite the character. they also have a challenge that if you can eat a dish with their #10 spice level, you get your picture on the wall. but beware, you have to sign a waver and take antacids before and after you eat. anyway, this is why you should come here to eat:

don't worry, travis's french toast came with sausage, eggs, and hash browns, too. but seriously, those pancakes...

after breakfast, we watched some storage wars, decided i should skip my first class, and then headed to the gym to play some basketball. not sure if i have ever revealed this, but travis is quite a ball player (like last week when he was playing with some random guys and they called him lebron james, yeah he was pretty proud) and he's also a great coach. he always beats me, but he's pretty gracious about it. then we came home and celebrated our love... in a very loving, adult, and delightful way.

then i had my research methods class i can't miss, so i headed up to the U for three hours. the worst part about a night class is the 45 minute train ride home, but i'm sure you can guess who was waiting outside my class with flowers and a big kiss. (and the car, obvi.)

travis was shivering when he handed them to me. he hadn't wanted to turn on the heater because he was afraid it would wilt my flowers, so he drove all the way in the cold. pretty adorable. oh and as we were driving back, he popped the in new ingrid michaelson cd for me. seriously, travis is the husband of the year.

love them.

"i asked for peonies, but they aren't in season."

-travis r. bodtcher, HOTY. 

(husband of the year.)

so then when we got home from class at 10pm, naturally, i wanted to take a few pictures with the two of us. travis was a pretty good sport about it. also, he was wearing a hat. so enjoy that hair of his. it was the best we could do with low lighting and 10pm smiles.

man candy

remember that time my blog turned into a photography blog?

yesterday travis was about to shave his beard off, (he never gets to grow a beard because firemen can't have beards. but because we went up to wyoming and worked, he didn't go to the station and thus had a longer amount of time to grow said beard.) and i yelled, "wait!!!" and then forced him to take a few pictures.  because his scruff just does it for me. oh gross...

i know i keep saying this, but i didn't know it was possible to love someone as much as a love travis. i'm embarrassed to admit this, but on saturday night, we went to the new rachel mcadams movie, the vow. i know right? so lame.

*spoiler alert* so in the movie, this couple gets in a car accident and the wife loses her memory of their marriage. and then the husband tries to help her fall back in love with him. soooo corny. this movie affected travis and i in completely different ways. for me, i watched the cheese fest of love and cried. not during the sad parts, but during the happy parts. because whenever i used to watch sappy, unrealistic "chick flicks" i would be so depressed and so cynical, thinking, this could never happen. and it will never happen for me. this time, as i watched this fictional couple interact with such ridiculous cuteness, i could totally relate. it was like, that looks familiar. i have that. and i cried. during the vow. groan.

so then after the movie, i asked travis what he thought of it.
"that movie made me super angry!" he exclaimed.
"angry? how could that sappy movie make you angry?" i was a little surprised.
"i could have killed him." travis said simply.
"what?? killed who??"
"that ex boyfriend! i can't believe he told the husband he would sleep with his wife. i wouldn't have just punched that guy; i would have killed him."

the ex boyfriend plays, i thought, i pretty minimal role in that movie. but that just bothered travis so much. the entire movie bothered him. as he said, "if you lost your memory in a car accident, i would try harder than that guy to help you get it back. he just gave up. i wouldn't give up."
swoon.
travis isn't a jealous husband and he wasn't a jealous boyfriend. i have a best friend who is a guy and we hang out all the time, just the two of us. travis is 100% good with it. so hearing his reaction to that movie was a pretty sweet moment for me. (not that i ever wanted travis to be a jealous partner, but it is nice to hear how protective he could be.)
plus, travis's naked bum, is so much nicer than channing tatums's bare backside. but then, channing tatum is just not my type. i'm obviously more into psychology professors who look like patrick dempsey. by the by, travis read that post and was like, oh a crush on your teacher huh? oops.
sorry for the sappiness; couldn't help myself.

good genes

can i just say.

i may be biased, but my family is beautiful. we are missing my brother reed, who is on his mission. we wanted to take official family pictures today, but then it did this outside:

so we had to make do with my parents' living room.
overall a good day though. love sundays with family, church, and chain-watching chopped all afternoon eating kettle corn.
uhhhg, back to another week of school. three more months, three more months. 


also, i really do want to take you or your family's picture, as soon as the weather lets us go outside.
so let me know.

the slc baby

three posts in a day. i must be procrastinating homework. travis is doing taxes and i am supposed to be watching a video lecture for my abnormal psych class.

earlier today we went downtown and i snapped a few photos. seriously, loving my camera and starting to feel less like a poser, especially since i learned the correct way to hold it. plus the thermometer in my car said it was 57 degrees downtown. um yes please.

i love this town. moving back to salt lake after living in hawaii was kind of a let down. but there are still plenty of reasons to enjoy living in the salt lake valley. in a ten minute drive i can be downtown, mountain biking up millcreek canyon, hiking, or snowboarding, (fine, that's like a 30 minute drive and i don't snowboard anymore). there are also several good lakes for boating.  okay, there's no ocean, but if i have to live somewhere inland, this isn't the bottom of the list.