ermergersh, lerserng ther berber weirght.

before i got pregnant, the thing i was most afraid of besides acne flaring up, was losing my body. i had worked my butt off, literally off, getting into the best shape of my life. my abs were finally less blabs and more ABS. 

one time in church i had this conversation with some women who already had children. 

woman who just had her 4th baby: "oh i just signed up for a pole dancing class to lose this baby weight. i have about 40 pounds to lose. uhhhhggggg!" 

me: "oh that sounds fun! i lost about that much about a year ago and it was tough but if you stick with it, it will come right off." 

another woman, who was about 40 years older than me chimes in, uninvited: "well honey, you don't have kids yet. losing baby weight is much different than just losing weight." 

first of all, i HATE the whole, "you don't know anything until you have children" thing. i swear to you, i used to get it every sunday before getting pregnant, not being able to go to church, and now having a baby and choosing not to go to church. ironic, now that i've finally joined the mommy-club-of-all-knowing-wiseness, and i've stopped going to church. 

secondly, i was like, wait, isn't weight loss just like, exercise and eat healthy, burn more carbs than you take in, simple math? of course there's the matter of the giant belly to shrink down, but really, weight loss is weight loss right? 

yes. i was right. when i lost that roughly 40 pounds before getting married it felt the same as losing the baby weight this summer. and it came off pretty much the same, too. 

in your face woman at church who chimed in uninvited. 

(i'm such a b word guys.) 

anyway. i promised myself i would be back in my pants by fall. hallelujah, with the help of hypermemsis, post partum depression, and lots of gym time, i made it. 

also, can i say. for me, the gym is the place i feel most powerful and invincible. it's much harder now that i have a small child who needs tending, so thank you! to my mom and trav's mom who always watch remy when travis is at the fire station. i'm almost ready to take remy to the gym day care. still a little freaked out to leave him in there, but i know he'll be fine. 

yes, it is much harder to motivate yourself to work out when you have a small baby. yes, you would rather sleep sometimes than go push yourself physically. but i never regret going and enjoying that hour of time to myself to only worry about reps or how high i can jump or how long i can plank. 

i try to work out 4 or 5 times a week, usually a mixture of stroller running, yoga, pilates, weights, kickboxing, and recently, zumba. working out is my stress relief. i love secretly competing with all the other class members. i love getting sweaty and disgusting. my body is strong and powerful and i can do anything! when i'm in gym mode. 

here's some picture proof of my labors. 

this was the last bare belly shot i took, a couple weeks before birthing. it's weird, your belly gets veiny. i also got that "line niegra" or however it's spelled. it's still there, but fading now. 

 

here's ten days after remy was born. it's the weirdest feeling having that empty belly. you keep expecting to feel kicks, but instead it's just soft and flabby emptiness. 

one month out. man my knockers were enormous. kinda wish i could have kept those. 

6 weeks. about to head to the pool, proudly baring my post baby bod. 

this was 9 weeks. sorry, there was no rhyme or reason to these pictures, just whenever i suited up. 

this is after my first time to kickboxing and then my first time doing insanity. i only just stopped crying at every kickbox class. it means so much to have a healthy body. 

here's a comparison of 2 months post baby and 6. 

women are so strong! boom, here i'll grow a baby while being malnourished and dehydrated. boom, all my organs will move around so that the parasite / baby living in my body can take up all the space. boom, my uterus, cervix, and vagina will push out a living human into the cold, dry air of earth. boom, my body will shrink back down to prepregnancy size. 

side note: there is a ton of internet/blog posting about fat shaming and loving your body the way it is. i agree! and we shouldn't be celebrating women losing baby weight over celebrating the fact that women can GROW babies. but, i think it's okay to want to be in the best shape you can and to celebrate the hard work it takes to get there. love your body, whatever shape it is. cause women's bodies are the coolest. 

xo.