no, i didn't ask if we could watch a porno, i just wanted to talk about my research project: the time i upped the rating in my research methods class

hola.
just a few items of business, and then i would like to start today's topic, which involves my teacher, a grown man, being uncomfortable writing the word 'genitals' on the board in front of our class. 

first item of business.
if you're into pregnancy, ideas about souls, and sage advice, check out my dear friend's post. she's an AMAZING writer and the rest of her blog is pretty outstanding, too.

second item of business.
we went house shopping again today and made an offer an a brand spankin' new, deep red, two story cottage home. with a big porch. and a separate dining room. and a huge tub in the master bath. (i'm being super descriptive because i didn't take a picture of the outside.) yeah, pretty in love with this house. it's not a short sale, so there is more hope than the blue house, which we still have an offer on. the kitchen is my DREAM kitchen, white cabinets, laminate wood floors, granite counter tops, and there are all these cute nooks and crannies everywhere that lend a very cozy feel to the house. just waiting til monday to find out if they accepted our offer. all went well with our home's appraisal, so i assume the appraiser is still alive and well. phew! but anyway, this could be it folks.

okay, i believe that is it for business. now onto the story.
there are many things that bother me about our culture and the role women play. these are some of them i have been pondering this past week. this list includes, but is certainly not limited to:

• when a couple gets engaged, the woman is the only one who wears the ring during the engagement. why is she the only one who is publicly "off the market" when interacting with strangers. 
• linguistic issues like, when a man and woman are married, he is still a Mr but now she has changed from a Miss to a Mrs. we automatically know she is married when we hear her name, but his is still the same. he didn't have to change at all. (this also relates to my issue with our custom of the woman taking the man's surname. doesn't it all go back to the wife being property of her husband? *also, if you are married and changed your last name, i am not trying to say you let yourself become property, as this isn't exactly the case anymore; these are just things about our culture that bother me.*)
• this. (thanks alyssa.)
• the fact that on how i met your mother, the main male roles play a lawyer and an architect, and the main female roles play a kindergarten teacher and a news reporter. way to stick those female characters in "gender appropriate" jobs there, how i met your mother.

ok that's enough. travis probably gets pretty tired of my ongoing critique of the world.

but something that really, really bothered me was what went down in my most recent research methods class. 

on thursday night, i was sitting through my research methods class. we were talking about the different statistics used to analyze the data from our "studies" (the fake ones we are doing.) on tuesday, we talked about stats and i actually started to cry. in class. don't think anyone but the teacher noticed, but still, on thursday, i was determined not to get upset, but to have some faith in myself. and also to get all the help i could from the class and teacher.
so our teacher asks if any of us would be wiling to discuss our "study" with the class to practice figuring out which stats to use. i immediately raised my hand and professor patrick-dempsey-look-alike said mine could go second.
the first girl's "study" was about child sexual abuse in sex offenders, which, seemed to me, to be a pretty intense topic. the atmosphere in the room changed while we discussed her IVs and DVs. i'm sure a nice share of the people in the room have personal experience with sexual abuse. but her study was all in the name of science soft science, so we learned from it and moved on. nothing personal.
so then professor demps looks at me and says, "well guys, i think we had a good example. we don't need another one do we?"
"actually i really think we do." i said. the class agreed that they needed more examples. professor demps looked nervous. "ok we can do collette's, but... " he glanced around at the class. "it's going to take the rating level of the class up a notch, so if any of you feel uncomfortable, feel free to leave."

ok, so the topic of women and orgasm took the rating level up a notch, but sexual abuse was no big deal? i mean, good grief, it wasn't like i was going to talk about my personal experience with the subject. it wasn't like i wanted to broadcast a porno.

with the class staring me down, i explained my independent variables of genital labeling and then incomplete sexual education. prof demps, who likes to write on the board when teaching, hesitated at the word 'genital.' he skipped it entirely and wrote "labeling." he then repeated his earlier statement, "if anyone feels uncomfortable, you can leave."
i started getting a little heated. "they're just body parts." i said. "we all have genitals." the class laughed, albeit a little nervously.
the professor didn't understand what i mean about incomplete sex education. he wanted to make two groups: those who had sex ed and those who didn't.
"that kind of defeats my whole point." i told him. "sex ed doesn't teach girls about their bodies and what the organs actually do. for example, they teach about the ovaries and the fallopian tubes, but not about..." i paused, unsure of whether or not i could say "clitoris."

in a college class, talking about my thesis, with grown ups, i wasn't sure i was "allowed" to say the medical term for one of the female body parts.

the rest of the time, my teacher was awkwardly avoiding saying the word 'orgasm' and at one point even said, "i guess i'm demonstrating why a study like this needs to be done, huh?" he kept asking me, "is there really a body of research you can draw from to back your study?"
 yes, actually there are other people out there who think it is important for women to be educated about their bodies and about their own abilities.
 toward the end, i was feeling embarrassed and defensive. "look guys, it's 2012, it's okay for us to talk about this. women need to feel comfortable talking about this!"

during the break at 7:30, a few of the women in the class came up to me in the bathroom and told me they thought my "study" was awesome and that they fully supported that kind of thing. but when we were in class, with a male professor leading a discussion about female orgasm, a topic he felt "upped the rating of the class" no one said a word. 

a little unbelievable right? i figured that in a liberal arts major, with the majority of my teachers making unprofessional comments about "the mormons" and religion and having to sit through all of that, i would be safe enough asking for help on my assignment involving sexuality and women, which is sadly, considered a pretty liberal topic. sad that educating women about their amazing bodies is still taboo.

anyway, that's my rant.
keeping my soapbox with me at all times lately.