23 weeks and life improvements.

miracles are happening.

for example, i just ate two eggs, that i fried on a pan on the stove, yes, smelling them cook, yes feeling the heat of them cooking on my face, (no i didn't cook eggs on my face; i felt the heat on my face.) as i flipped them.

and then i ate them.

this is a big deal. 

also, i didn't throw up after tying up those last two posts, which is the first time i hadn't thrown up after/during using the computer since like, september? so i can resume my old blogging habits, which is nice because writing on this blog is kinda how i process my life.

also, this thursday will be the three week mark of my no vomit streak. three. weeks. this is something i gave up on ever happening to my life.

also, this last week i think i started to look pregnant. like maybe strangers would know i am pregnant rather than just assume i eat burritos all day long and have let myself go.

yes, i know this picture is missing the super cute border and words, "23 weeks"
and i'm sure it bothers you as much as it bothers me. i'm currently staying with
my parents, whose computer doesn't have the photo editing capabilities that mine has.
so we're just going to have to deal.

other super cool things about week 23

• started feeling remy kicking and punching on a daily basis. sometimes hourly. the light fluttering sensations i felt at 15 weeks are long gone, now replaced with some serious strength. what does it feel like to have another human being punching your insides from the inside, you might wonder? it kind of just feels like crazy strong muscle spasms. but i like to imagine the announcer from the video game, super smash bros announcing, "remington punch! remington kick!" and if you never played that game, never mind that reference. also, travis felt him for the first time! pretty cool stuff. 

• no puke-age. still gagging and nausea a good portion of the day, but compared to before, i can handle this. with pleasure really. i did have a nightmare about vomiting, and woke up in a panic before realizing, it's okay, just a dream. great, one more thing in my life to feel traumatized over. 

• started noticing more "normal" pregnancy symptoms, like back pain and sharp stabbing pains on the top and bottom of my abdomen. (which i guess are from ligaments stretching?) i am ecstatic about these new problems to deal with. i will gladly take pain over vomit, every time. 

• only cried over having to eat dinner once. it was a nasty day, headache, really nauseous, close call on the puke, and having a tough time choking anything down. travis and my mom suggested anything they could think of and nothing worked. travis brought me something to drink and some naan, (yummy yummy flatbread) and i stared at it and cried because eating seemed so impossible. this used to be a daily routine, staring at food someone prepared for me and just sobbing, knowing i had to somehow get that food in my stomach or i'd be sicker, but being so repulsed by the smell and taste. baked potatoes were about the only thing i could eat for dinner from october to december, and if i never have to see one again, that would be alright. 

• had my first pregnancy craving! for a margarita, obviously loaded up with ...whatever alcohol you put with margaritas... but no, just the most sour, limely margarita possible. oh, it was refreshment  from heaven. the only other thing i'm really into is this sugar free hot chocolate made by swiss miss. don't worry, it's sweetened with splenda, which i have researched and feel comfortable feeding to my fetus. i find it interesting that the only things i'm craving are liquids, like my body is trying to help out with the dehydration situation. 

• speaking of dehydration, still going for fluids every few days. the second time during week 23, my resting pulse was at 121. my resting pulse used to hang out around 40. you know, back when i was healthy and exercising. was that person even me? so yes, i'm still dehydrated and playing catch up. my blood pressure has also been lower than normal for a prego, another sign of dehydration. as one older nurse said while examining my veins for a stick, "oh little girl, you are dry!" so i guess i'll keep going until my vitals are more normal and the nurses aren't lamenting over my veins. if it keeps me from being a sicky, i'll take it.

• i ate a doughnut. (!!!) and then that night i was like, hmmm i feel like i'm eating a ton these days. maybe i should figure out how many calories i sucked down today with that doughnut. and it was still under 1500, even with the 300 doughnut calories. but that is a huge improvement from before. i haven't weighed myself, but i know i've put on some poundage. 

• my boobs. are huge. that C cup, now a trip D. finally went in for a fitting and got some new bras. comfort level improved. still probably never going to feel well enough to break the celibacy streak, but at least the boobs are comfy. 

• oh, had my first "rude" belly comment. from a family member who shall remain unnamed, who is about 40 pounds overweight and has his own swollen belly. we were waiting on him to come home from work so we could eat dinner. when he came home, i was starving and nauseous and panicking about needing to eat soon and what i would even be able to eat, and i asked him if he was ready to go to dinner. he looked down at my stomach and said, "looks like you've already eaten dinner." and yes, i cried over this. (i blame the nauseated panic for part of the sensitivity.) seriously, the only thing you should ever say to a pregnant woman about her appearance, is how wonderful she looks. seriously. 

• i have stopped counting the hours until i can go back to bed. (even though bed wasn't a safe place to be either because i wasn't sleeping much due to the nausea.) from mid september until mid december, i spent most of the time laying in the fetal position, telling myself, okay, it's ten am. just make it until noon. and then it would be noon and i'd think, okay, it's noon, just make it until two. yesterday, i looked at the clock and it was already three in the afternoon! i wasn't panicked about finding something to eat and i hadn't thrown up! i spent the day running errands with my dad and was actually, gasp, enjoying the day! pretty cool.

anyway, i can't describe how thankful i am for all the life improvements. there's a light at the end! remington is real and he's going to be here in three and a half months! 

happy mid january survival. stay warm.

xo