birthday.

today is my birthday. i am 24 years old. it doesn't feel strange to say that, because i've been telling the people i worked with all summer that i was already 24. you know, so they would take me seriously. or something.

birthdays at my house growing up were a huge deal. it was completely your day. you were exempt from chores. mom would get this nostalgic look in her eyes and retell you your birth story. how long she was in labor, how excited she was to meet you. your favorite dinner was served to you on the special red birthday plate. you felt like the world wouldn't be the same if you hadn't been born into it. for one day, you were allowed to let it be all about you.

being a grown up changes birthdays a little bit. we start to dread the numbers getting closer to 30. we have to do chores like take out the trash and clean up the dishes, because mom isn't around to do it for you. luckily, travis knows how important birthdays are to me and he pretty much does whatever i want done on my day. like eat my favorite and his not favorite thai food for dinner. and go camera lens shopping all afternoon. and read my new book about polygamy. and scratch my back for me all night. love him.

so because it's my day and i'm allowed to make it all about me, i'm going to write 24 things that have happened in my life or are part of who i am.

1. i'm a picky eater and have been since i was born. i was allergic to breast milk. now, i'm picky about things like salad, condiments, and sandwiches. i'd rather eat curry than a hamburger every time.

2. i have three younger brothers who i love and worry about and fuss over. we get along more like friends than siblings most of the time.

3. i'm very idealistic, which leads me to being disappointed a lot, and then mad at myself for expecting everything to be so ideal all the time.

4. seven different guys told me, in all seriousness, that they wanted to marry me.

5. i had an imaginary friend, named jimmy, who was/is an elf, until i was in 8th grade.

6. once, i sang on an album with a heavy metal band.

7. it's not an average day unless i've had an awkward encounter with someone. like when travis and i went for a couples massage on our anniversary, the woman who was about to massage me asked, "hey, we have been having some issues with this, so i need to know, do you have any diseases or-" and i interrupted with, "no, um no i don't have anything. nope. oh but i am allergic to penicillin. so yeah." to which she replied, "um, we don't really have that here." ... wth?

8. i have fallen in love more than five times. falling out of love is the hard part for me.

9. cooking. love the part where you add things together and season them. hate making a menu and going to the grocery store. i will eat quesadillas for three days before breaking down and going to the store. 

10. one of my all time favorite memories is of winning the "turkey trot" race in 6th grade. i hadn't planned on running the race, because i am so competitive i hardly ever compete unless i know i'll win, but i ended up doing it and beating several girls who bullied me all through grade school. one of the only times i felt proud to me myself as a young kid.

11. i have OCD. sometimes i have to say a certain word or i can't think about anything else. the shower has to be squeegeed the right way with straight lines or i have to start over. if i use the oven, i have to check it three times before going to bed. i have to pee three times before going to bed or else i just lay there thinking about how i have to pee, even when i don't.

12. music is such an integral part of my life i don't even know how to explain it.

13. i started my first official job when i was 16, working at a bakery. i have worked as a makeup artist, telemarketer, english tutor, piano teacher, among others. the most embarrassing however, was when i sold knives. door to door, yo!

14. i have two black chest hairs that i pluck. travis does not know this.

15.  i have only missed one night of washing my face since i was 13. there's that OCD again.

16. magic the gathering.

17. as i kid, my imagination entertained me at all times. one of my favorite games to play was with dandelions. i would be their midwife and their babies were the white fluffy "seeds."

18. the first time i went to the gynecologist's office, i passed out and fell off of the table.

19. i am a survivor of sexual assault and suicide attempts.

20. i read 2-3 books a week, in an average week.

21. i have extremely thin skin, something that doesn't work well with being a photographer.

22. that dream life, the one we secretly wish to have? i wish i could make it big in the music industry as a singer.

23. one thing that i am judge-y about and can't handle is cigarette smoking. i always ask smokers to put out their cigarettes or to smoke downwind from me. sometimes they swear at me, but sometimes they are polite about it. seriously, i don't want to smoke, so take your second hand smoke out of my face please. i'm actually getting upset thinking about it.

24. sometimes when i'm at my kickboxing class, i feel strong and i get tears in my eyes because of how amazing it feels to feel powerful.

wow, it is harder than you would think to write 24 things about yourself.

i'm thankful for my life, my healthy body, loved ones, and my travis. 23 was a rough year, but some good growth came out of it.

here's to celebrating yourself and your life. i'm ready for you, 24.