becoming a photographer

oh, hey.

i still have things to say about sexual harassment. and a huge post i have been writing in my head for months about homosexuality/lgbt/whatever you and yours call same sex/gender attraction. see there are too many ideas even just about what to call "it" and by saying "it" i'm sure i'll offend someone out there. this is why i haven't written this post yet. because if i can't even figure out how to approach what to call everything in a way everyone will understand, how am i supposed to talk about the actual topic?

but all those serious posts are coming. it's hard to write about the month of july and everything that happened to trigger my ptsd. but i will get there soon. and talking about homosexuality and our culture usually ends up with me in a white hot rage and wanting to hit many of my lds family members.

today i just want to talk about something shiny and happy. something that makes me feel shiny and happy.


so you know how i started learning to be a photographer this past year? this has turned into an incredible journey for me. i'm slowly building confidence and becoming more assertive in my ability. becoming a photographer has taught me to trust myself, because when someone is paying you to capture those once-in-a-lifetime moments, you have to trust yourself. it's sort of a high for me, that pressure of capturing the perfect shot combined with allowing your creative abilities to take over the controls. all the while you must seem completely confident and capable to your subjects, reassuring them, fixing stray hairs, waiting for a screaming child to stop screaming, and at the same time adjusting your camera's settings, which can feel similar to sitting in the cock pit of a rocket ship, staring at the buttons in awe and horror.

becoming a photographer has also taught to me look at the world in a different way. i notice small things; i appreciate beauty in a different way. i obsess over light.

the first time i shot in manual, controlling all the settings myself, i might as well have levitated ten feet off the ground. 

but it's hard, too. i stress over failure. i worry that i'm a fraud. competition is fierce! i know it takes time to build a client base and make real money, but i still doubt myself.

people say the most hilarious things, too.

"wow, your camera takes really nice pictures!" yep, it's all the camera.
"hey you should bring your camera to my wedding and take some pictures." for free, right?
"why on earth do photographers charge so much? it's ridiculous." have you noticed how expensive professional equipment is? do you have any idea how much time, talent, education, and effort it takes to plan, shoot, edit, and deliver your pictures?

but i love it so much. being a perfectionist, it means that much more when i nail that perfect shot, a beautiful moment captured forever in time. funny how you go 23 years of your life without knowing what you love to do most. i enjoyed psychology very much; it helped me find a voice and a starting place to fight on my soapboxes. but taking pictures just brings me pure joy.

here are some photos my little prime lens and i have taken recently.

i still have so much to learn. with every shoot i have another "ah hah!" moment.

if you want your pictures taken by someone who will love every minute of it, let me know.

go {here} for my photography blog.

and do what you love most!

xo