really long catchup post about what happened while travis was away.

yikes, how did i go so long without posting?
oh probably had something to do with being crazy busy working at the school, as a climbing youth coach, and being a photographer. and that whole single mom gig.
i'd get home, put rem to bed, and just sit and relish the silence / eat way too many treats watching netflix until midnight every night and then start madness all over again the next day.

it was really good though, staying busy. kept me sane!
anyway, here's some SUPER INTERESTING phone pictures of life the past few months.

one of those busy rushed mornings trying to get to work. remy is definitely eating cinnamon toast crunch, whoops. 

makes my climber's heart swell with pride. 

our tulips were so giant and beautiful this spring. 

monday night climb nights with my gal, morgan. 

loving having my backyard finished. 

peekaboo! 

daybreak opened a new park last summer with a little creek we love to play in. 

those rare nights when baby falls asleep on my chest. 

"i'm the king!" he said over breakfast. 

on our way to a bridal shower for sara! 

this kid loves his baby, rocking her, feeding her, singing to her. 

another bridal shower at my house with the charles side. 

out of order. back to the first bridal shower. 

h&m you just get me. 

one morning when we had really curly hair. 

but then remy puked so we went to the doctor to make sure he didn't have a concussion, since he'd hit his head.
he probably had a minor concush, but he was fine. 

no really, he was fine. 

visited the tulip festival at thanksgiving point with lilian and damien. 

i very badly wanted to shoot a bride in this spot. 

celebrated cinco de mayo eating mexican with reed and sara and some of their friends.
felt very 3rd wheel as the only married person who brought a babe.
who dumped the entire bowl of beans and rice on the table.
but strawberry jaritos! 

sadly, our trip to idaho falls coincided with remy getting his eyeteeth/feeling very toddler-like.
he screamed pretty much the entire weekend. 

but we still had fun having a reed family bridal shower. 

my mom dealt with the beast and let me eat my lunch while it was hot.
she's the best. 

reed's dairy always improves moods. 

and then there was mother's day.
ah mother's day, the day remy punched me in the face when i asked him to tell me happy mother's day.
the day i sobbed during dinner at my parents and then left early and sobbed all the way home.
i just wanted someone to make me breakfast in bed and change the diapers.
instead remy was a BEAST all day.
i'm sure someday i'll laugh about it. 

the best part of the day was travis's mom writing in my card that i ought to have father's day this year too. 

love my moms. 

called my niece down to the office on her birthday to tease her about having low grades, but instead brought her starbucks.
you only turn 13 once. 

got my annual email from the U trying to sell me pictures from graduation 3 years ago! 

reading and writing all the time. 

probably his favorite person in the world besides me and trav. 

lunch with the charles side. 

remy can actually keep time on this drum set while chad plays guitar.
love that my brothers take time to teach him. 

so climbing has become my new favorite thing in the world.
this was at a training for coaching where an x games gold medalist
came and taught us amazing things. 

it was a beautiful morning, view leaving my house. 

first day of coaching, feeling legit in my momentum shirt. 

travis's avocado tree is getting big. beautiful colors during a rainstorm, view from my home office. 

slammed into a wall trying to jump on my brother while he was sleeping.
karma, i know. it's probably broken, because it still hurts and is swollen.
i should really get it checked out, but i don't want to be told not to climb on it. 

catching up with girlfriends doubling as family at a bridal shower. 

are you kidding me remy, how are you so cool.

daybreak has several pools that are included in the HOA fee, so we just zip on over
with liana and her kids several times a week. (they live here too!)
this pool is only 1 1/2 feet deep, so my anxious mothering heart is pretty comfortable.
also, i feel pretty damn proud of myself this year, i've been really relaxed and haven't had
any lightheadedness from anxiety like i did last year every single time we went swimming.
it helps that remy is older and better balanced this year, too. 

lots and lots of evening walks. 

i really learned to love and appreciate all the one on one time while travis was gone. 

more pool with liana's cute kids, this one is her newest and i adore her. 

such sweet sisters. 

s'mores for brother zane's birthday.
my baby brother is 17! when did that happen. 

a lovely photo i sent travis.
yes, this is how i did yard work.
i'm that neighbor. 

this was our last weekend just the two of us before travis came home.
we went climbing, had frozen yogurt, and went to the zoo with oma.

this was a person in front of me at the grocery store.
this was only half the frozen meals; the rest were bagged.
pretty impressive! 

a good old no makeup self photo. 

oh just another trip to get frozen yogurt. 

little boy's footprint. 

one of his second cousin's painted his nails while i was working. 

views running around the lake by our house.
my sister in law has somehow convinced me to train for a half marathon,
so i've been getting to know the trails around the lake pretty well. 

home. 

this is the last of the pictures before travis came home a month ago.

it's hard to even describe how things were during the 8 months he was gone.
first of all, you single moms who are actually single moms, like you don't have the end date of when the other parent is coming home and you don't have financial security coming from another person, you are incredible. being the only parent is ... really difficult, lonely, exhausting.

the things that saved me were having a routine and keeping busy. two or three days a week i'd get a break from remy while i worked at the schools. i'd get to interact with other adults and do something i love. four or five nights a week i went climbing for several hours. i am really lucky to have travis's and my parents 20 minutes away and i wasn't shy about asking them to watch remy several times a week while i climbed or went out with friends for dinner. i made sure to have lots of fun outings and activities for rem and me. the days i needed to take it easy, we had lazy days. we ate grilled cheese and wore pajamas.

remy was a huge part of keeping me happy. he's the cheeriest kid most of the time, so being around him keeps you laughing. it was really, really lonely, coming home every night to a dark and empty house, putting remy to bed and then it just being me, but it was also a good time to get to do what i wanted all the time without having to consider anyone else's feelings. travis and i would talk briefly several times a day after he graduated from basic. it's really hard communicating with technology. face timing was usually frustrating because the iPad would lag or remy would be screaming the whole time. talking on the phone is pretty much my least favorite thing ever, as my close friends know.

anyway, since travis has been home he tells me i seem much more confident and independent, so i'm glad to have had the chance to remember what it's like not to have a person to lean on. makes you appreciate the person that much more when they return.

xo.