remy turns two. (his actual birthday day)

dear remy,

can you believe how fast time is whizzing by? you turned two last week!

i'm having a hard time expressing the love and joy i feel toward you, but let me try. first thing in the morning, my heart gives a little jump when i hear you jabbering in your room. i don't even realize it, but i'm smiling. i open the door and there you are, usually standing up in your crib. your face lights up and you call out, "hi!" and start filling me in on all the important things- which stuffed animal you are holding, what you want for breakfast.

you hold my hand as we walk down the stairs. you laugh and tease me during breakfast, you usually thank me for whatever i make you and tell me it's "delicious."

remy, you are the joy of my life.

every day you amaze me with new words and ideas you understand. yesterday, you came running in from the backyard and said, "i'm cold! i want shoes and jacket!" today you said, "i put on shoes! i do it!" and then you put your own shoes on your feet. you understand almost everything i tell you and you can say everything. you sing all day long, and you have a beautiful little voice. i love seeing you feeling proud of yourself when you accomplish something, coloring or carrying something heavy across the room.

you never stop moving. i think that's why you take such good naps and sleep 11 or 12 hours a night.
you love music. ohhhh i love seeing how much you love music. you're a pretty good dancer, too.
kid, you're brimming with personality. everyone who meets you instantly adores you. i feel like the luckiest, that you are mine.

we've had some good times together while it's been just you and me. the past six months have just been us while dad's been away. i couldn't have gotten through this past year without you. anytime i am having a rough day, you can tell. you're always comforting me, patting my arm. tonight you even rubbed my shoulders all on your own. if you catch me in tears, you say, "mama, mama." and you hug me.  it's been hard being the single parent, but it's also been really beautiful to have you all to myself like this.

your sense of humor and comedic timing is spot on. i don't understand how someone so young can be so hilarious, but you are. seeing the world through your new eyes is refreshing and innocent, and healing. i've learned a lot about slowing down, changing priorities, and laughing when before i would have gotten angry. being your mom has made me a better person, more confident, patient, and giving.

i don't know how it all works, if before this life you chose me, or we made a pact, or it was just random, but i know that i'm infinitely blessed to be your mother, and i'll always be indebted to you for bringing me such joy. thanks for being my little son and know that my love for you always comes first.

i'm excited to see what this next year brings.

love, mama

birthday breakfast of french toast. 

 played out in the backyard and then baby boy took a nap. 

when he woke up, we met my parents for thai food lunch, rem's fav. 

after lunch, we headed to barne's and noble for remy to choose a new book 

and to play with the trains. 

"the charles sneer." 

didn't get pictures of this, but hung out with cousins kohen and hadley 

in the afternoon, and then had italian soup and homemade bread at papa's house. 

then we headed home for strawberry shortcake and presents. 

whip creeeeeeaaaaammmmm 

jumping for joy. 

he ate three bites an then was over it. 

 i think remy had a good birthday. crazy that two years ago they induced me for preeclampsia and travis and i had a fantastic day waiting to meet remy.

love watching this boy grow up and humbled to be his mom.

xo.