a lot of pictures of lately. yeah, most of them are of remy.

oh hey.
time for another late night post. listening to some ed sheeran on spotify. he's got some good jams, surprisingly!

life has been kind of rough lately. my depression is back. i'm not really ready to go into why. mostly i'm having a tough time with travis leaving for basic training and school for six months. but i'm back in therapy, and things will be okay in time.

i'm looking for a part time job. i applied for a position mentoring kids in foster care and JJS. luckily my photography business has kept me really busy. if you are my client and you are reading this, please know that the joy i feel taking your pictures is the only thing keeping me smiling some days. thank you. 

meanwhile, i take my happy brainwashing drugs and spend time with my son, who is the joy of my life. hard times always come, you just have to find your ways of getting through them. i'm so thankful for my remington. travis works long hours. he works 4 jobs, so 100 hour weeks are pretty common. remy and i are one-on-one a lot of the time. as hard as it is sometimes, seeing life through rem's sweet, innocent eyes is wonderful. he'll wrap his arms around my neck and chant, "hugs! hugs! hugs!" he'll bring me book after book to read. we practice his ABCs. hearing the way he says, "taCOOOON" when he reads the raccoon book. there are a thousand examples.

here's some pictures of our daily adventures.


a favorite, feeding the almost-too-friendly daybreak lake ducks. (the geese go for travis's crotch if the bread is nearby.)

 new beautiful pillow i splurged on.

pretty damn handsome, eh?

we take a lot of bike rides around the lake. if you so much as think the words, "bike ride" remy screams with joy and runs to the door. a lot like a puppy, yes. here's one of my favorite views.

always a book.

 his lovey, or 'neigh neigh'

general badassery.

first pair of converse. (thank you ross!)

something that has really helped my depression is climbing. getting out in the fresh air and only having to think about the wall and where to put my hands and feet. my brother chad is usually our guide, as he is the expert.

this was the wednesday afternoon that i was feeling claustrophobic and smothered. so remy and i jumped on trax and headed downtown, where we met up with my good friend, austin and had dinner.
true story: as i was guiding a spoon full of soup to rem's mouth, he smacked it away and the soup flew through the air, full on soup-smacking a woman walking by. and me of course. ah, parenting.

i started guitar lessons. here's my teacher and close friend, benny. you mothers know what i mean when i say, i've lost myself to being a mommy. i needed to get back into something i love, and music is always at the top of that list. right now i'm working on a john mayer song with lots of scary bar chords. it's been so great.

travis and i mixed up date night and went to a high school football game!

 remy's new obsession, driving and saying, "beep beep!"
is there anything more incredible than watching your child learn to talk!?

always cooking something.

was cold enough to whip out the agnes and dora leggings.

another climb night. in a few years, remy will be thrilled to wear a child harness and have a turn. he was climbing every rock in sight.

date night to lonestar taquaria!

remy watches me get ready often. he enjoys playing with my makeup brushes and brushing them on his face like i do. he loves to smear chapstick around his mouth.

a few weeks ago, i found him a play kitchen at the DI. he has always loved to play cook, since he was around 8 months old and got a food set and pot for christmas. anytime there is something cooking on the stove, he has to get up and see what it is. he has to help flip eggs and pancakes. so it seemed perfect to get him a kitchen of his own.

i told some of travis's co-workers about it, and the first response i got was, "you're going to ruin him!"

ruin him.
by letting him play with a kitchen and pretend food.
guess i shouldn't ever talk about his play broom and how much he likes pretending to put on makeup like his mom.

sure, the guy was "joking." but really, let's break this down. first of all, if we are assuming he meant, ruin him because he'll become like a woman- find me a woman who doesn't love a man who can bring it in the kitchen. it's pretty attractive. and again, what is so wrong with a boy acting like a "girl?"
or what else was he saying? that it will make remy gay? because being gay would be "ruining him?" because letting a child play with a kitchen is what makes someone gay?

i got pretty heated with him and said all of those things and he was like, geez i was just joking.
just. stop. making. those jokes.

also, he has to wear adult socks all the time.

 here is said kitchen. it's not even pink you guys.  because that makes a difference.

mullet-ing up a bike ride.

we went to gardner village for a pony ride and to check out the farmer's market. remy loved the ride.

playing with his cousin and bff kohen.

this booger. SERIOUSLY.

the rain kept us from a pony ride last saturday, so we did the next best thing.

and this will be christmas.

this was tonight. we have such a great time together. i forget that he is a toddler half the time. he is just my little friend. we play games and laugh. share a frozen yogurt. i can understand 95% of what he says now, and i know he understands me. how blessed am i to have this little person.

happy fall time!
PUMPKINSPICELATTEOMGGGGGGGGGGG -every insta post i see.


xo.