where sunflowers grow.

the first time we saw the house that would end up becoming our home, it had just snowed, masking the landscaping with white fluff. everything looks great when it's covered up. then the snow melted and revealed a pit of despair and mud and weeds in front of our house.

so in daybreak, the developers wanted to keep a lot of the land in its natural looking state, long grasses and wildflowers. except that they put in the long grass and took out the weeds. that is one of the things i love about the community, the unique "more than just manicured grass" look of the landscaping. i also love the location of our house. instead of homes in front of us, we have a huge field and an incredible view of the salt lake valley. unfortunately, the developers didn't finish the landscaping in the field right in front of our house. instead, there is a section filled with dirt, loose gravel, and ever growing weeds. when we first moved in, i made a lot of phone calls about this. i called the HOA committee, who directed me to the builder, who then directed me to the HOA committee. no one wants to pay for it. (although our builder did tell us that they probably will end up taking care of it after they build four more homes on the lot next to our neighbors'.)

basically, i was stuck looking out my window at a weed pit. i have cursed that spot of mud and gravel daily since moving in. and then a few weeks ago, one sunflower bloomed. and then another one. and now there is a whole fleet of them. right in front of our house.

(see the tall grass behind the weeds? that is what is supposed to be there.)

they are beautiful! seeing their yellow faces every morning brightens my day so much! i started to think about what i would have missed out on, had the builder finished the landscaping. 

and how the tough things we have to deal with in life sometimes end up leading us to the great things. 

like how i thought moving back from hawaii was the end of my life. but i ended up marrying travis. 

like how i had horrible acne that kept me from doing so many things. but it also kept me from getting close to so many guys i dated who wouldn't have been right for me in the way travis is. 

like how last year when i went back on accutane for my acne, travis and i were driving to a doctor's office i never would have needed otherwise, and we stumbled onto the daybreak community and immediately knew this was where we needed to be. 

like how if i hadn't moved back from hawaii, i never would have taken that gender studies class that helped me to start facing the sexual assault trauma i had buried away. and even though i'm not to the point yet where i can see what good came of the assault, i believe that someday i will understand it better, the way i am starting to understand other trials i have faced in my life. 

we all have struggles. we all deal with things that hurt and that seem impossible. but sunflowers will grow in the patches of weeds that seem so awful. and we will look back and feel thankful for the very things that we struggled with.

xo.