the sleepover in the treehouse

this weekend, travis took me on a date
to the red iguana and then surprised me with an
overnight adventure at the anniversary inn

the room was themed "bridal veils falls"
the bed was like a treehouse

we enjoyed the luxurious robes.

the bathtub was incredible! the water
came out of the rock like a waterfall.

cheesecake and apple cider were waiting to entertain us

when you laid down, this was the view looking up.

they brought breakfast right to our room

you know you're jealous of my egg yolk yellow sweats.
and that they are sexy.



one of the greatest moments of the night was at dinner.
we were waiting behind this huge jeep who cut us off
and then started backing up closer and closer to our car
travis moved backwards and they totally took our parking spot.
so naturally we were a little upset with them.
then inside, we see that the guy is this huge macho meat head guy.
and we are sitting at the bar and who is seated next to us?
of course our friend from the parkinglot.
then he starts talking to travis.
"what's up man? why aren't you eating?"
travis told him it was spicy and he needed a break
so the hairy, man's man proceeds to instruct travis
on just how he should eat his meal.
and my kind husband just smiles and ignores him
while i laugh my head off.

pretty much we just have a great time
everywhere we go.
the anniversary inn was wonderful
you should try it out sometime!

belated honeymoon post catch up

these pictures are completely out of order.
but basically this was our honeymoon :)
myrtle beach, south carolina.
we stayed in a condo right on the beach
we ate a ridiculously huge amount of seafood
(i love lobster ps that picture is a joke)
we swam, went running, parasailing,
mini golfing, watched inception, went to an aquarium
relaxed, watched a huge thunderstorm
and started figuring out the whole marriage thing.

six months ago today

Travis Randy Botcher married me.

it was July 31, 2010, a saturday morning.
he came over as i was finishing up my hair.
of course i was freaking out.
"it looks bad! i should have had someone
do it for me!"
i was being a bit grumpy about it.
travis calmed me down, as always.

he drove us to the temple in his
black toyota tacoma, the
car he picked me up in
for our first date
almost two years before.
he was all smiles.
his new suit looked so handsome
and his blue eyes literally sparkled.

the salt lake city temple
was everything i had ever dreamed of
white and cream and glittering chandeliers
happy attendants directing us to the right rooms.
the man who sealed us together was
wise, kind, and clever.
my dad cried.
holding travis's hand over the alter
i felt a kind of love and peace
i had never known before.

the luncheon and reception
turned out perfectly
even with all the rain.
my grandparents danced for the band
getting soaked with huge smiles
on their faces.
i sang for travis, a song
i had known for years
and wanted to find the man
it was talking about.

family, friends, loved ones
all there celebrating the love
and commitment we made.
at the end of the night
it felt perfectly natural to
leave together.
to start a new life.

it's not always easy.
and even though i get
upset sometimes.
and consider blowing our
savings to fly to a
beach somewhere, alone,
(i've never gone so far as to
look up flights mind you)
i would never trade the
past six months
for anything.
i'm the luckiest girl
to have married travis
and i love him more than words.

thanks for putting up
with me for the past six months
darling :)
hope the next six are even better.

love you!

life 2011

(pictures compliments of melissa robbins)

it's friday. i don't have school on fridays. i had planned on being superproductive and working on school, doing homework, and cleaning. so far today i have
-spent time with travis :)
-worked on music with benny. :)
-played with four little puppies. :)

so the homework cleaning working out thing. not so much.

school started. it's going really well! at first i was pretty overwhelmed with all the reading each teacher assigns. (seriously, do they think their class is the only one i'm taking?) but now that it's been a few weeks, im feeling better about all the stress.

i am taking 13 credits, mostly because i can't afford to take more than that. intro to psy, psy 2010, cultural traditions of asia, and gender and contemporary culture. the university of utah is my third college, and probably least favorite of the three for a few reasons.

-the giant size. suu and byuh were tiny school, allowing the students to get to know each other better, smaller class sizes, etc. it is nice that my teachers wouldn't notice if i'm not there, but still.

-it seems that the professors at the u, mind you i have only had six so far, are pretty academia crazed. like, im an undergrad, i don't want to be spoken to in your gradspeak language. i don't understand that yet. please dumb down your lectures and actually teach or find a new career. im not paying you thousands of dollars in tuition money so you can talk at me about how smart you are.

so my gender studies teacher is pretty intense. the other day she was talking about the bible and the story of genisis.

"god created man. man was lonely. (making mocking finger quotations here) god took a rib from adam and created woman to be his subordinate."

ok so yeah, it's a gender studies class. i figured we would be discussing homosexuality and sexual preference. i didn't think my teacher would be teaching her personal opinion so freely. if i raised my hand and said some right wing conservative bit about gay marriage (which isn't necessarily my opinion, just being extreme here) she would be pretty upset. but she can sit there and misquote the bible and mock my beliefs and not expect to be contradicted.

we did get into an argument about gay marriage on the second day of class. i was saying that both sides feel like the other side is infringing on their rights. gays for the obvious reason, and the other side feeling like their beliefs are being compromised. she said, i understand what you're trying to say, but i don't agree. she didn't agree that someone else had another opinion. she was pretty upset and now i wonder if she will grade me differently because i got her riled up.

anyway. enough about school. my brother left on his mission. travis and i have sold five of the puppies. life is good.

the other day when i got off trax coming home from school i walked to my car. inside, was a book i have been wanting for months sitting on the steering wheel with a note love you. this is my equivalent to receiving flowers. :) when i got home the whole house was clean, laundry done, and yardwork done. seriously, i can't say enough about how wonderful travis is. :)

enjoy some puppy pictures :) that one of me shows off my not showered, not made up face. gross :)

nothing to do with you

wrote this tonight. it's on the way to becoming a song with melody, chords, and benny shell on guitar.

and it's about the love of my life.



don’t come over here
looking at me that way.
don’t try talking
those fancy words at me.


you’re not the one for me
don’t fit into my plans.
i’m dreaming big and tall
don’t try to slow me down.



cause darling, i had it all figured out.
i knew just what to do.
have a life and a house and a pretty little love
and nothing to do with you.



think you impress me with
those good looks and your charm?
think you can win me over
using tricks like that?



think again.



(guitar, mandolin, and piano instrumental)



no i can’t take it
when your hand is holding mine.
don’t want to feel your mouth
so warm and slow and fine.



cause darling, i had it all figured out.
i knew just what to do.
have a life and a house and a pretty little love
and nothing to do with you.



just stay away from me
stop showing that you care.
take back your good jokes
all of our chemistry and flair.



(bridge)
you’re not the one for me
regardless of those eyes.
the way they see into the
secret places, long lost places,
pain i’ve hidden, joy you’re bringing
fear of falling, love i’m feeling-



so darling, we have it all figured out.
i know just what to do.
have a life and a house and a pretty little love,
and all i want to do is
all i want to see is
all i want to love is you.

molding heads and showering with pals

so.

life is good. im back to my old self. the self that intends to kick ass in school next week, pumped iron in the gym this morning, and enjoys pouring cold water on travis while he's in the shower.

should have showered with me pal.

good things that have happened this week thus far:

1. in church sunday, an older woman was speaking (i have nothing against older women by the by, just that they speak so much sometimes) she was going on and on and i will admit, my mind wandered. until, i heard "and then the boy fell off the wagon and the wagon ran over his head. and flattened his head. and that was a bad thing." WHAT??? yes, i would say that would be a bad thing. then she continued, "and the man gathered the boy's head in his hands and (delicately here) molded the head back together in his hands." this woman was completely void of emotion and talking as though she were discussing how to make a turkey sandwich. and maybe im just looking for things to laugh at but i thought it was hilarious. and i laughed. alone.

2. travis has to be the sweetest man alive. he is constantly rubbing my back, running outside to the car to grab whatever i forgot, saying, "no you look comfortable; ill push play/bring you water/serve you dinner etc. and then he is always looking over at me and saying "how did i marry someone so HOT!?" with so much enthusiasm even if it's in the morning and i really don't look good. he puts up with my listening to the same song over and over and over and he asks me to teach him guitar. (he's doing great with that ps) he still does all the dishes when i cook. i just love the man so much. :) so lucky to have him :)

3. after a ten day hiatus from the gym, the longest time in a year i have not worked out, i went back. awkward sentence structure. i am sore everywhere and it's great. amazing how much difference it makes for me to exercise. and my kickboxing instructor told me i have a tight butt. :) don't worry, she's a she.

4. starting a new major next monday. i have the problem, which im sure many can relate to, of wanting to major in everything. i just really love school and learning, and can picture myself doing anything from being a doctor, to teaching high school, to massaging people, to sports medicine, etc etc. but after much thinking, praying, and stressing, i have decided to do psychology. i want to counsel the sexually abused. and maybe eventually become a sex therapist. :) it just feels great to have something to work towards.

5. benny and i have embarked on a musical journey of epic proportions. we have started three new songs and our dreams involve stages and record deals. but mostly just having a good time with writing music. :)

yes, life is great. im in love with a sexy sexy man. there are eight sweet puppies living with us. only two more months till i get to enjoy the hours of gardening from november. summer is coming. soon.

new and shiny

it's a new year.
but i don't feel very new and shiny.
it's probably the weird cold i have had all week
and the 9 dogs who somehow came to live in my basement
who keep us up all night with their crying and whining
and pooping everywhere.
this very minute the huge black one i have named
"oprah"
is howling.

today, as i try to think of goals and ideas
for the new year,
i just feel old. tired. sick.

some really great things happened last year.
some really terrible things happened last year too.

i started school at the U.
(my third college in the list of my education)
and got straight A's :)

i met a dear friend who i know i knew
before this life.
His name is Levi Benjamin Shell
and we had linguistics classes together.
we write music together and just
really communicate well.

Travis got a job as a murray paramedic firefighter,
something he wanted his whole life.

travis and i took a trip to st george
where we climbed angel's landing
and i starting thinking he could be the guy.

my friend died of cancer.
She was young, beautiful, and smart.

travis and i got engaged.
i should tell that whole story sometime.
it involves a realtor's office and me storming out
pretending to be angrier than i really was.

i lost 30 lbs and got back into
a pants size i hadn't worn
since jr high.

my mom and i went to hawaii
and then lilian met up with me.
when i asked, the ocean let me know it was
a good choice to marry travis.

travis and i bought a house.
with great bones and wood floors.
and we have almost totally remodeled.

a friend i thought was my closest friend
let me down hard.

travis and i were married in the
Salt Lake City Temple.
we had a wonderful party and then
a honeymoon in Myrtle Beach, SC
where travis saw the ocean for the first time
and loved it.

i got a part time job
transcribing letters for eye doctors.
this job is a huge blessing
a blessing i can't wait to be
rid of. :)

travis and i went car shopping
and bought a car.

my mom became even more of
a sister, my dad a friend, and my
brothers hug me whenever i
go back to their house.

i made new friendships,
lost many more for choices i made
and ideas they had.

i dyed my hair blonde.
also a funny story.

i chose a major. finally.
in one year i will graduate with an
almost useless psych degree
and then two years of
grad school till i can counsel.

travis and i celebrated our first
married christmas. made some traditions.
surprised each other with gifts.

it was a good year. im ready for 2011.
still learning how to be married.
how to manage time.
how to be unselfish and kind even
when i feel like fighting and yelling.

this year i will be maintaining the straight A's.
recording an album with benny shell
not becoming pregnant. (ever)
and trying to be a better person than i was last year.

the human pregnancy test

the camera usb is stil mia. so use your imagination. it's getting late and travis is at work. for another day and night after this. im getting better at being alone. less jumping at the noises the furnace makes and less running through the house avoiding looking at the windows in case someone is looking in at me. i have even killed a few spiders all by myself.

a woman at church said something that really hit me. she said, "it's easy to feel like the men in our lives should have to take care of us all the time. and they should. but we should never let ourselves become helpless." travis does so much for me and takes such good care of us that sometimes i have to remind myself- take out the trash. go to the bank. carry the heavy box upstairs without asking for help. these are all things i used to do for myself without thinking twice, but after being married to someone who does them for me, i have become spoiled. so i have been trying to be better about this.

good things happened last week. so our front yard, as previously mentioned, was a wreck. we were pretty much the trash of the neighborhood, yeah yeah. so travis ripped out the giant bushes and my mom and i pulled weeds, (and i totally threw out a bunch of bulbs before i knew what they were; how horrifying is my lack of earth knowledge!?) and a sweet, sweet neighbor gave me about $200 worth of starts for a garden. We planted lilacs, mums, peonies, pansies, bulbs to replace the others, creeping jenny, lilies, and so many other names i can't remember. but now i am so impatient for spring to come so everything can bloom and all our hard work will show. side note: working with earth really does things for the spirit. the earth is such a metaphor for the bigger picture of life and why we are here. and how blessed are we to have such a beautiful place to live and the choice to improve our situation, where ever we may be.

ok back to the good things that happened last week. travis, his dad, (aka manwel, or "the help") and his brother ryan put up crown molding and the baseboards. we arranged the furniture in the front room and i have grand grand ideas. the budget doesn't quite cover them, but money can't keep me from dreaming. :)

also, we went to the best concert i have ever seen. ingrid michaelson put on such a great show! as a vocalist, hearing someone with a voice like hers was a treat indeed. and music brings such beautiful, intimate feelings. being there with travis was beyond wonderful.

speaking of travis, we have been married for three months. can i just tell you that even though sometimes being married is tough and i have had a serious identity crisis, it has already been worth every moment of hard and that i am happier than i have ever been. travis, thank you for being so patient and loving me. this man really is superman.

i know im just blabbering about this and that, but give me a break, im alone and full of words.

so funny story.

if you know me well, you know about my great fear of pregnancy and motherhood. the fact that getting pregnant is so out of my control (birth control methods can only do so much) just freaks me out. so, naturally, i take pregnancy tests regularly. just so im never surprised.

well last friday on date night, travis and i had to make a pit stop at fresh market/albertsons (rip) to buy a pregnancy test because i was doing the freak out. we searched all over the store for the "family planning" section. ha ha very funny advertising. very funny. asking for that section of the store is humiliating. and if i were looking for condoms or lube it wouldn't be embarrassing. it's the pregnancy test thing that is embarrassing. the employee always looks at my abdomen. even if i were pregnant, at this point you couldn't tell genius! at least be sneaky about it.

so we find the thing and stand in line. awkwardly. the cashier looks at our find and asks, "how are you folks doing tonight?" travis, always snarky, replies, "look at what we are buying; how do you think we are doing?" and then i have to add my two cents. always the competition with us. "yeah especially since we just broke up."

a few people turn to look at us. and i can't stop the word vomit. "plus i haven't even graduated from high school yet." as i didn't have any eye makeup on, i did look about 16.

the cashier looked nervous, but travis reassured her that i was kidding and that we are, in fact, married. so it would be ok for us to need a pregnancy test.

then she looks me in the eye. "so how late are you?" then it's my turn to fumble for words. "oh i haven't... i mean im just paranoid about it..." then she grabs my wrist. and feels my pulse. "uh huh. hmmm. yup. you're pregnant." i start making noises of disbelief. "no, i did this with both of my daughters," she claims. "come back and tell me."

and then we're walking out the door, me yelling back to her that she can't know, she's messing with me. and naturally i obsessed about it until i started my period two nights ago. sweet relief.

anyway. life is sweet here in our little red brick house with the pansies and lilies. thanks for listening to my ramblings. love, cbaby.

our neighbor, the most racist man in the hood

i can't find the camera usb hookup.
there are lots of pictures of things that have
been happening in our little life.

but since the camera usb hookieupthingie is mia,
ill have to just talk.

Things are going well in the charles-bodtcher household.
(yes. to the dismay of my brother reed, i did
hyphenate my name. not because i am a feminist beezy.
not because i don't want to commit and take travis's name.
it's because im really proud of my charles name.
my dad's dad, papa charles, impressed something
on me at a young age.
he told us at a family reunion that we were charles's.
and not to ever disgrace that name. to keep the name proud and clean.
i tried my best to do that. family honor thing.
and i love my family so very much. and i like being a charles.
i like being a bodtcher, too.)

back to the charles-bodtcher household.
we are doing great.
travis has a new nickname for me.
"voldemort"
really travis, you shouldn't be so sweet to me. but he is :)
last night he made me dinner-
pork tacos, spanish rice, black beans, asparagus.
he bought me a brand new car. a black toyota corolla.
oh we were such a great team
with the salesmen. the good cop bad cop routine.
travis played bad cop, "im not paying that. it's too high"
i played good cop. flirt cop. "oh show me the pictures of your kids!
i see they got their good looks from you."
*winks. (don't argue with what works)
the salesman did score some points with me,
saying i look like katie holmes.
(i totally don't)
flattery works on me. try it sometime.
anyway, travis makes a big deal about calling it my car.
"sweetheart, can i borrow your keys?"
but he doesn't like for me to drive.
I did hyphen my name, but that doesn't mean i don't
like for him to drive, and open the door for me. :)
and still pay for dinner. even though both of our names
are on the account.

what else? well, we planted two blossoming pear trees
in the front yard.
thanks randy and julie, the great inlaws :)travis bought me a lilac tree. it's a hybrid of tree and bush.
i dug up all the weeds. and some bulbs,
before i knew what they were. oops.
spiders, as afore mentioned, are the bane of my life.
apparently spiders love gardens.
this was me yesterday in the flower garden.
"die! die! die! die!" *spears spider with shovel,
forgetting to just use shoes.
*sprays the spider killshot style.
hope the neighbors saw the show.

speaking of neighbors,
apparently the man across the street is a racist.
like i said, many of our neighbors are old. dying. deceased.
the man who lives across the street is older. grumpier.
so dave, the guy who sold us our house,
owns a house two doors down from us.
it's for rent. dave was allegedly showing the house
to a black guy who showed interest.
the old grumpy man across the street told dave.
"don't rent to that guy;
we already have enough foreigners in this neighborhood!"
ps there is one mexican man living on the street.
everyone else is pasty white. and
the black guy was totally american. not foreign.so then the grumpy guy says, "and this house you
sold to the bodtchers. it still looks
like the boydells live there."

**side note: the boydells were the super old people who lived in the house before us. don't worry they didn't die or anything. but they didn't really do much in the yard. or anywhere else.

so the grumpy old guy was sitting outside
when we were doing yardwork the other day.
i made a huge show of waving to him.
"how are you today" i asked, way too sweetly.
"doing fine. it's looking better over there." he answered.
"we're doing it all for you!" i shouted, smiling so sincerely.

travis and i are going to secret santa him this year,
see if we can't get him to lighten up a bit. :)

but that's life.

also, my brother reed got his mission call to sacramento, ca.
pretty excited about that.
and my brother chad is having a hard time.
please remember him in your prayers?

thanks love you :)

the landlocked lonlies

ok. so im happy. my life is full of love and laughing and excitement and family. i am not whining, nor am i complaining. but i may have made a mistake just now. i decided since i am waiting for my brother to get here so we can pick up my parents from the airport, i should read my friend alyssa's blog. but not the new stuff. the old memories from when we lived in hawaii. and reading through all of our adventures has made me terribly homesick. so if you don't feel like reading a homesick post, skip this one.

The thing that was so great about hawaii was the attitude of everyone living there. at least the students. the attitude of i can do anything i choose to do, such as living on this beautiful island. it was some serious empowerment. and i miss learning about different cultures; i miss the diversity and the languages. i miss the dirty, dingy, sandy, cockroachy normalness of restaurants. i miss choir. i miss choir so much that i cry sometimes. ha. singing in a choir at a church school allowed us to sing about religious topics. music + religion = feelings. my testimony of Christ grew leaps and bounds that year, not from hearing people speak but from singing with a group of people who loved me and who i loved back.

it's so ridiculous, but i miss miss miss eating lunch in the sea sider with all of us. i never really had a group of friends in high school. i never really had a sincere group of friends until i moved to hawaii. we were quite a group, the evans brothers and their unending knowledge of cars, (and willingness to drive you anywhere and help with anything) erika dick and her headbands, cute flannel, and music suggestions and unlimited knowledge of EVERYTHING, alyssa herTzinger playing the organ, laughing at the outrageous things she comes up with, and her sassy wit, bonnie begging for quarters to buy chili rice and telling her latest longboarding adventure, dustin making us all angry or at least irritated, ting shen and his camera and always cramming in the homework at the last minute, (oh i love him) ryan anderson interviewing us for ke alakai, (as long as we didn't say anything opposing wheelwright's views) getting in trouble for wearing a dress that is too short, jenna chidester being absolutely ridiculous, eating way too much ice cream, kaytie fav and keola always having healthy lunches from home, debates about politics, roxanne miller showing up once in a while and acting like she's a gift from heaven, (she is though) making disgusting meals out of the salad bar and random items from the sea sider, singing choir songs at the top of our lungs, pretending to be cold so we could drink hot chocolate, and so many other things i could go on and on about.

i miss the day to day things. i miss the friendships. i miss feeling like i could be anything i wanted to be. i miss the jokes about wheelwright's terrible reign. i miss the gossip. i miss the smell of hot rain. i miss saying aloha in sacrament meeting. i miss tutoring asian students on subject verb agreement. i miss my morning runs to the ocean, the smell of the ocean, the taste, the feel, the security, the sand. i miss living with erika dick so much. i took her knowledge and insight for granted when i lived with her. didn't realize how much smarter she is than most people. i miss brother belnap and his life lessons during choir and voice lessons. (and the slightly sacrelidge way i always made the analogy of him being God in my head) i miss katie and rachael and jane as my roommates, always cooking something good and teaching me something new. i miss longboarding to school and riding a bike to get around. i miss going barefoot to the grocery store (wait, i still do that, to travis's dismay.) i miss the bus. i miss my kayak very very much. i miss being crazy and hitchhiking. i miss eating way too many raisinetts and a pint of ice cream every few days. (my waistline does not miss these) hawaii helped me learn to love myself and i miss that too.

alyssa's blog said something i should learn to be better at doing. something about enjoying the present more than missing the past. for the most part, i think i am doing better with this. but just for this moment tonight, i am allowing myself to remember and to miss my home and place i love most, hawaii.

the pro sex

sometimes i look at travis and at my life and think that there must be some kind of catch.
i was whining to my mom the other day about the spiders in the basement.
"spiders are the worst part of my whole life."

i thought about that some more later, realizing how true it is.
if spiders are the hardest part of my life, i must have it pretty good, yeah?

so recap of life lately.

i didn't start massage school. ha there's always the U of U in jan...

we have been living in our house for like a month now. travis is home for four days and gone to the fire department for two. the nights alone have been a little lonely and ill admit i am a little scared of all the new house noises, but im hoping to get used to it. and getting to spend four full days and night with trav is pretty great.

travis and i have been getting to know our ward. (we are members of the LDS church and the group we meet with every week is called a ward.) we are some of the youngest there. no really, a good chunk of the people are in their late 90s. like every week another funeral is announced over the pulpit. if they keep dying off ill never get to know them. (sorry but it's true)

oh so travis and i were asked to teach the 13 and 14 year old sunday school class. preeeeetttty excited about that :) oh and so excited for the lesson on morality coming up soon. not that i have any problems talking about sex, ill just have to figure out a way to talk to 13 and 14 year olds about not having sex. im pretty pro sex these days, so we will see how that goes.

as always im fighting the battle of getting in shape and trying to get down to a size anorexia. :)

pretty much im not working and im not in school. i do teach piano lessons. i do cook huge delicious meals. i do clean house. i do entertain and hang out with my husband. i do read books and am writing music. i do hang curtains with my mom and paint things to hang on the blank walls of the house. i do not have any babies or plans of babies. im pretty much useless :)

travis and i are learning the art of sharing. sharing a full sized bed, sharing dessert, sharing ideas, sharing a church calling, sharing disagreements, sharing love.

life is great. well except for the spiders. :) but seriously if you know of any good spray or anything let me know?

much love :)